


Raining Cats x and x Dogs

by olivemeister



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Veterinarians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-05-05 10:05:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 36,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5371268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olivemeister/pseuds/olivemeister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The undeniable fact that he was attracted to the man who was going to jab his puppy with a (necessary, admittedly) needle floated into Killua's mind."</p><p>Killua brings his dog to the vet. It's bad for his own health - especially when the fat old cat on the counter takes a swipe at his precious baby.</p><p>Discontinued.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends. Today is "Dave wanted to write a simple oneshot and ended up doing a bunch of research because he doesn't know where to draw the line" day. Have some fic.
> 
> Warning: there's some non-graphic mentions of needles and little puppy barfs. Nothing big, but it's there.

On the counter, the chubby old cat stared at Killua. It was hard to not engage – after all, he was already on high alert. It was the first time he'd taken Wolf anywhere really public since the obtuse process of adopting him, so it was only natural that he was nervous about even bringing him to get his next round of vaccinations. The puppy himself seemed as bewildered and anxious as he felt.

He couldn't just go to the vet his family saw, of course. Bisky had transferred the records to the vet she took her cat to, and once that was done she'd signed the puppy over to him for good.

Still, the cat was watching him. Wolf squirmed in his arms, patting one rough paw against his neck. “Oh, come on,” he whispered, kissing the puppy's head in an attempt to still him. The woman behind the counter smiled at him, and Killua felt his cheeks flush a little. He had a reputation to uphold, but not here and not with his fussy puppy. That was what he had to tell himself.

“Hi, are you Wolf and his dad?”

“Yeah,” Killua said immediately. It sounded silly, but Wolf might as well be his kid – it wasn't like he had any plans for a human one. That was something the vet his family saw would never say, though. Pets were pets and opportunities, not family.

Sometimes he felt like his parents only saw him as an opportunity as well.

“Okay, great. We have the files here from Ms. Krueger. She told us that you'll be Wolf's primary caretaker from now on.” Wolf's paw smacked into his cheek, and the woman's smile brightened further. She tucked a strand of hair – red, almost the same color as the cat sitting next to her – behind one ear. It was a surprisingly sharp contrast to her blue-green scrubs. Killua wondered if she was also a vet tech on top of being the receptionist, or if it was just standard for the clinic. He supposed there had to be circumstances where she would need to get involved in handling an animal even if she wasn't one. “Is he your first dog?”

“No. Just the first one that's mine alone. Come on, buddy, it's okay.”

“I see. So Ms. Krueger is your...”

Killua laughed abruptly, and Wolf let out a little whining yawn. His next little shivering motion made his leash slide down from around Killua's shoulders, and he snatched at it to shove into his jacket pocket instead. “No way, she's old enough to be my mom. She just helped me out with him.”

“Oh! Yes, according to our paperwork, he used to be owned by a Mr. Silva Zoldyck. Was she temporarily taking care of him for you and your family?” It was a question he wasn't sure he wanted to answer. Especially not coming from a receptionist. The smell of coffee wafted up from her desk behind the counter, a reminder that he'd skipped out on breakfast to make sure Wolf got to his appointment on time. It wouldn't have been a problem if he'd been willing to get up before nine - taking Wolf out for his morning walk at six was doing awful things to his sleep cycle.

“... something like that, yeah.”

“Mito-san,” someone – a man, probably – called, and the woman glanced back to the doorway behind the end of the counter. There was a little bang, like a drawer had been shut too hard, and then a rattling sound. Wolf's ears perked up, and his head turned to stare at the doorway with sudden interest. The cat's head swiveled as well, from the door and then back to Killua. It blinked quickly, whiskers twitching. For a moment, Killua thought the cat would knock over the little glass container of dog treats. “Can you grab me a pen? I can't find any.”

“Hold on, sweetheart! I'm getting Mr. Zoldyck and Wolf checked in and all the paperwork sorted.”

“Okay!”

“I'm sorry about that. So, we'll need you to fill in your name, address, and phone number here, and then sign at the bottom. And then this form is just your standard 'giving permission to treat your animal' form, but please give it a look-over before you sign to make sure there's not anything you object to. Would you like me to hold on to him while you fill those out?”

Killua let his eyes drop from the woman to the top of Wolf's head, still angled to look in the doorway though he dropped back into his nervous panting. “I think I probably shouldn't. He's a little hyped up from being in a new place, I guess. Sorry, just give me a second.” Wolf was still barely small enough that he could be picked up with one hand, and so that made it easy for Killua to tuck the puppy into his jacket and zip it up so that his nose poked out over the top. It seemed to settle him immediately, to Killua's relief. The end of the leash fell out of his pocket unceremoniously, and he threw it around his shoulders again. “That's better, right Wolf?”

Wolf tilted his head up to lick Killua's chin, and he grinned before leaning over to write. The feeling of the dog wriggling against him almost tickled, but it wasn't as if Wolf was trying to get out. The woman – Mito, both the person in the other room and the name tag on her chest said – handed him a pen easily.

“Gon, do you still need a pen?”

“Yea- no, wait, found it! Thanks, Mito-san!”

There was a little chirp from the cat, and Wolf whined again – the same whine he let out when he saw other dogs on his walks. Killua felt his tail start to wag, trapped as it was in his jacket and beating against his chest. Address, phone number, and... As he dotted the 'I' in his name, Wolf yelped and drew back against him as the cat swung a paw at him, claws outstretched.

Mito gasped, only momentarily stunned before she was lunging forward to bundle the cat up and away. Killua backpedaled immediately, wrapping both arms around his middle to cradle the startled puppy as he fought to escape. One of Mito's elbows clipped the cup of coffee, knocking it over and onto the floor where it shattered to pieces. “Oh!”

There was a quiet thud from the other room, and the sound of footsteps. Killua ignored them completely, smoothing Wolf's ears back and kissing the bridge of his nose as he whined and struggled. The cat had only scared him, he saw, but that was more than enough for an already-anxious puppy on an outing. “Shh, shh, it's okay.”

The cat swatted at Mito's neck before pushing all of its paws against her chest to bound away from her. On the floor, coffee spread out from the broken mug in a dark puddle. Killua was suddenly very glad he'd walked Wolf and made sure he'd peed before coming in.

“I'm so sorry,” someone said, the same someone from the other room. “Kon never does things like that, he's normally very well behaved. Kon, come here!”

“Honey, you know there's no disciplining a cat – no, what am I saying? Mr. Zoldyck, are-”

“I'm good,” Killua said, wincing when his voice cracked. “We're both good, just gave him a good scare. Is, uh...”

As he looked up from between Wolf's ears back to the counter, Killua lost his train of thought entirely. The cat was still there, now sulking, but now being held like an unruly football. That wasn't the important part – the important part was the young man holding on to him. Killua made himself close his mouth.

The first thing he noticed was that the man looked a good deal like the receptionist. They had the same nose, the same eye shape and color, and the curve of their chins were even similar. It was alarming how similar they were, though with some obvious differences not just in facial features. The same tanned skin, but his hair was black where hers was red. And compared to the man talking quietly with her, Mito seemed like a much smaller woman. They were wearing matching scrubs, which was actually sort of cute even if it was basically a uniform. The man was wearing something like an apron over his waist, though, and there was a pen tucked in one of the pockets.

Killua strained to remember what she had called him. From where he was standing, he couldn't see the ID hanging from the man's apron. He smiled apologetically at Killua, putting a hand over the cat's head in something that might have been a pet but might also have been a reprimand. The cat seemed unfazed. He found himself scowling at it childishly.

Killua wasn't sure why he'd assumed that the man Mito had been talking to had been her husband or boyfriend. It seemed more like they were cousins, or maybe even siblings. Probably cousins, though. He couldn't imagine calling one of his siblings by an honorific like that, not now that he was a legal adult.

“Gon, could you get me some paper towels? I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Zoldyck. You've been here for ten minutes and all of this happens at once! We'll get you in and out as soon as possible.”

Wolf scratched at his chest, and Killua ruffled his head. “It's fine,” he said awkwardly, his eyes flicking from her to the man – Gon! Gon was his name – retreating into the other room. Thankfully, _with_ the cat. He was well built, Killua noted almost clinically, before chastising himself mentally. It wasn't the time or place to be checking people out. “Take your time, I'm. I mean, I've got time.”

“I am so, so sorry,” she said again, and it only made him feel more embarrassed and out of place. Gon was back with a roll of paper towels and a plastic bag, and he closed the door behind him presumably to keep the cat from coming back out. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

“I'll take care of it,” Gon said as she reached for the paper towels, his cheeks dimpling – dimples! Nothing about this was going to be good for him – as he smiled. “It's Kon's fault, so it's my responsibility when he misbehaves!”

“Your cat, huh,” Killua found himself saying dully. He cleared his throat, bouncing Wolf a little in a vague attempt to keep him from clawing at his chest again. “Guess he's not normally a hitter.”

“Definitely not,” Gon replied, and Killua snorted. Gon had freckles, he realized with a tiny pang of despair, though they didn't stand out very strongly against his skin. The more he looked at the other man, the worse it got, especially when he squatted down to collect the shattered porcelain on the floor. It made the muscles in his thighs stand out against his pants. “I've had Kon for eight years – since he was a little kitten! - and he's never been mean to anyone who comes in here before. Sometimes he'll knock things over and he used to steal pens, but nothing like this.”

Killua looked down at Wolf, who was now kicking him gently in the stomach in a weak attempt to get out. He seemed to be aware that it was useless, so Killua had to give the pup credit for trying anyway. “Wolf, come on. I know you've never met a cat before, but you're okay.”

“He's really cute,” Gon said to Mito, and she smiled in a sort of mysterious way. Gon's cheeks seemed to redden ever so slightly, and his voice was a little flustered when he spoke again. There was a faint scratching noise from the door, presumably the cat deciding he wasn't okay with being locked inside. “Is, um! He looks like a husky, huh? Or maybe a malamute...”

“Siberian, yeah, and a little German Shephard. He's actually mostly a Seppala Siberian sled dog, but that's basically a husky. Most people don't know the difference, at least.” It was a stupid thing to be proud of, but he always wanted to show Wolf off like an excited new parent. A dog was much cuter than a baby, at any age.

“But you do. That's really cool!” There was a little clink as Gon tossed another shard of porcelain into the bag. “You probably aren't planning on taking him sledding, though. I mean, it's not like we're in the desert, but getting more than two feet of snow is pretty newsworthy!”

“Gon,” Mito said gently, putting a hand on his shoulder. Gon's mouth opened a little, a perfect little 'o' of surprise. Then he was laughing, scratching at the back of his neck with one hand as he laid down paper towel with the other.

“Sorry, I'm keeping you from your forms.”

“It's cool. All I have to do is sign this one, right? Done.” Wolf had settled again, though he looked positively crestfallen. Killua grinned at the puppy, squishing his chin against his neck to plant another kiss on the tip of his nose. “It's okay, buddy. You're a big boy who isn't scared of kitties, huh? It's a good thing you weren't _really_ gonna live with Bisky.”

“That sounds like a story.”

“It really, really is.” Killua couldn't help but chuckle a little as he handed Mito back her pen and the now-completed paperwork. Gon leaned over to peer at the forms, and Killua realized he hadn't even introduced himself to the other man. “I, uh.”

“Killua, huh? That's a nice name.” Gon beamed at him, and it made him feel like he needed a shield from that light. It was as if he was making a concerted effort to push all of Killua's buttons. Wiping a hand off on his apron – it really was an apron, Killua realized – he offered it to Killua. Gon had a firm grip, Killua noted, even as he scolded himself for noticing. “I'm Gon! Gon Freecss. But, I guess you already sort of knew that. Some of it, at least. I'm a vet tech here. So I guess I'm gonna be the one taking a look at Wolf today!”

“Yeah? Nice to meet you. Guess I'm in your care. Or, at least, Wolf is.” Wolf licked his chin again, as if reacting to hearing his name. His tail wagged again, and it seemed like he had gotten over his earlier scare. Maybe he'd forgotten it entirely – sometimes Killua thought he had the attention span of a gnat, but that was probably because he was still a puppy. “Wolf, don't smack me with your tail.”

“Well, I'm glad he's excited instead of upset. Mito-san, did you get a weight on him yet?”

“Not yet. We had a little bit of a distraction.” Mito straightened the papers out with a little tap, and she glanced across the room to where the electronic scale sat against the wall. Killua was nodding before she even spoke again. “You don't have to push any buttons, that's just an on-off switch. It'll go automatically.”

“Right, cool.” Wolf was happy to be out of his jacket, and he shook vigorously as soon as his paws hit the rubber of the scale. Killua caught the leash as it slipped from his shoulders once more, winding it around his forearm. Wolf immediately took a step off of the scale, and Killua snorted before picking him up again and setting him back in place. “No dice, bud. You wanna sit still for me? Wolf, sit.”

The look of confused betrayal on Wolf's face was actually pretty funny. Nevertheless, he sat down and cocked his head. Killua patted him easily, before standing again. The little red numbers on the scale ticked up, and then returned to zero as Wolf jumped off the scale. Killua cleared his throat, flushing a little. The third attempt went about as well as the second, with Wolf's bafflement only seeming to grow.

“Okay, seriously. I don't wanna hold you in place, it'll mess up the measurement. You don't want them thinking you're fat, do you?” He thought back for a moment, to the container of dog treats on the counter. “Hey, can I get a-”

Before he could finish the thought, Gon was already pressing a treat into his hand. Wolf's eyes seemed to lock on it, and Gon let out another little laugh. “Yeah, I sort of figured he'd be difficult. Not that he's misbehaving, just a little confused.”

“Thanks,” Killua managed, and now he was blushing in a different kind of embarrassment. Wolf's tail thumped against the metal base of the scale, his eyes bright as he watched Killua raise his hand. “Hey, buddy. You wanna give this weighing thing another shot?”

The distraction of the treat was enough to keep Wolf in place for long enough to get a reading, to Killua's intense relief. The scale blinked a red 16.047 before clearing, and Wolf snapped the treat out of the air as soon as Killua dropped it for him. He could have crouched to give it to him, but somehow he wanted to show off. “Good catch, bud. Much better than last time.”

“So, sixteen pounds, about. And he's a little over three months?”

“Yeah, about 13 weeks. He's shooting up like a furry little weed, a month ago I could stick him in the pocket of a hoodie no problem. I don't know where my little runt went.” Now that he wasn't being kept to the scale, Wolf padded over to the counter, tugging at the leash as he came up short. Killua snapped his fingers lightly to draw his attention again, and then he was bounding back. Gon's eyes flicked down to him for an instant, before returning to Killua's face. There was suddenly a little bit of something in his expression that Killua wasn't sure he liked.

“How long have you had him? Ah, actually, hold up on that. You can take him to exam room two, I gotta grab his files and I'll meet you there.” Killua nodded at him, and when he took a step forward Wolf dashed around his legs in excitement, his nails clicking on the floor as he skidded a little. Whatever had been on Gon's face vanished as he grinned again.

“It's not time to go yet, Wolf. I know, you're giving it your all, but you still gotta get your jabs in.” Wolf tilted his head again, barking sharply and running around in a small circle. He didn't understand, Killua knew, but he always responded well to being talked to either way.

He trotted eagerly to the exam room, before seeming to realize it was in fact not the exit. And then the fear of a new place was back, making the fur that ran down his spine lift up as Killua closed the door behind him. Wolf whined at him as he sat, putting both paws on the edge of the seat. He geared up to jump, but paused like he wasn't sure if he could make it up and into Killua's lap. He had mercy on the anxious puppy anyways, scooping him up easily and unclipping his leash. Seeing Wolf so miserable hurt his heart a little, with his ears flattened against his head and his body shivering.

It was only a few minutes before Gon was popping through the door on the other side of the room, and Wolf's ears perked up again immediately before whimpering again. “Aw, new room is scary, huh? Poor guy.”

“Seems that way. I know if I coddle him he'll just think there's actually something to be afraid of, but you know, I can't help but feel bad.” Killua ran his hand over Wolf's head, scratching the base of his neck. It didn't seem to do much to calm him down. Being cooped up in a tiny room had to be making him nervous. Gon set the chart in his hands down next to the sink, glancing at him again. “Need me to put him on the table?”

“You don't have to just yet. Since there's nothing wrong with him and this is just his vaccines, Doctor Bine isn't gonna get involved and you're stuck with me. So, let's see... he needs his third round of shots, and he's old enough for his rabies vaccine now.” Gon paused for a moment, bringing a hand up to his mouth and pressing his knuckles against his lips. His forehead creased a little. In Killua's lap, Wolf lowered his head and shuddered again. “You can do that today, but I recommend waiting a little while if your schedule lets you. I don't think he'll have a bad reaction to the combination vaccine I'm gonna give him today, but if he does it's better that we know which vaccine is giving him a hard time so you can plan for his next round and boosters. He'll need the rabies vaccine before he's four months old by law, though.”

“Right.” Wolf spun a little, nosing Killua's jacket open and shoving his head inside. Killua patted his rump distractedly, considering. “He got his second round right on time at nine weeks, so I'd rather get him the third today and hold off on the rabies for another visit. I can space it out pretty easily. I was never really on board with the idea of loading up a young dog with a bunch of vaccines at once.”

“You've had a lot of dogs, then?” Gon tugged a latex glove from a box sitting on the counter next to the sink, and then a second. Killua laughed, nodding. “That's great. I never had a dog as a kid, just Kon. Though, I guess I wasn't really a kid when I got him.”

“Yeah? How old are you that you were a teenager eight years ago?” The sudden suspicion that Gon was about his age struck Killua. How long did a person have to be in veterinary school before they could work as a vet tech? He had no idea. Medical school took forever, he knew, but surely this wasn't so severe a program.

“Oh! I'm twenty-tw... Actually, I'm twenty-three. I keep forgetting, my birthday was two weeks ago.” Gon laughed a little, scratching the back of his neck. It was really an endearing sort of laugh, and the undeniable fact that he was attracted to the man who was going to jab his puppy with a (necessary, admittedly) needle floated back up into Killua's mind.

“That's wild. I'm turning twenty-three in July. Happy belated, I guess.”

“Thanks! Anyway, you wanna pop him on the table for me so I can get a temperature on him? That's everyone's favorite part, getting stuff shoved in your butt.”

Killua realized his mouth was hanging open, and his cheeks felt hot. It was just vague enough that he could question if Gon was talking about the dog or not. That was probably being hopeful, given the other man's sunny disposition. Was it possible to fire off an innuendo like that so cheerfully? Gon didn't seem to notice his momentary surprise, busy as he was opening a drawer and grabbing the thermometer from it. There was a little container of what had to be lubricant next to it. Killua realized abruptly that he hadn't even started to move his dog.

Wolf fought him a little when he stood, clearly distressed by having his foundation taken away once more. Killua petted him again as he set the dog on the table, wincing at the sound of his nails scratching the metal. Gon tore off a segment of paper towel, folding it on the edge of the sink. “Okay, rump up, bud. You're not gonna like this, but you gotta be a big kid.”

“Not a fan, huh? Guess it's not for everyone.” Gon had to be fucking with him, Killua thought. Did he have Big Homo Gay written in rainbow letters on his face or something? Or was his expression just too obvious?

“Need me to hold him still? He's gonna jump when you touch his tail, I bet. As much as he likes butt scratches, he's not a huge fan of people messing with his tail.”

“Would you? That'd be great.”

“Yeah, no problem. Anything to make my dog's anal experience easier on everyone.” The words were out of his mouth before he could help it, and Killua's eyes widened immediately. Gon's sudden bark of laughter was an incredible relief, but it was still mortifying. His cheeks felt hot as he wrapped his arms around Wolf's middle and neck. The puppy's expression was almost terrified now, and Killua wanted to bury his face in his fur both to comfort him and to hide his embarrassment. “Jesus, sorry.”

“No problem. Okay, Wolf. Time to grit your teeth.” As predicted, Wolf's feet scrabbled on the table the second Gon took hold of the base of his tail. Killua squeezed him a little tighter, frowning at the whine that escaped the dog. It became a legitimate yelp as soon as the thermometer was inserted, and he made a desperate attempt to leap off the exam table. “Yeah, I know. Feels weird. Almost done. Then we'll stick you with something else.”

At least Gon put a positive spin on things. “Guess I didn't answer your question earlier,” Killua said as he rubbed Wolf's neck. Gon made a little confused noise, his eyebrows drawing together as he pulled the thermometer free and wiped it off on the paper towel. He tugged something free from his apron, and as soon as he'd brought it up Killua realized it was a stethoscope. “About how long I've had Wolf.”

“Oh, yeah. Guess I did. His temp's good, by the way. I'm just gonna listen for a murmur, it's not like his pulse is anything like it would be normally. You must be close with his breeders, then?”

“Yeah, sorta, since they're my parents. I was around when he flopped out of his mom like a nasty little jellybean. Don't get me wrong, miracle of birth and all that, but it's a real disaster to watch.” It made Gon laugh again as he worked, and it felt like a tiny victory. Somehow it felt like he'd known the other man for much longer than half an hour. A little spark of realization struck him, thinking back on the strange expression that had been on Gon's face earlier. “Bet you were worried I snatched him from his mom right away.”

“It crossed my mind, but I didn't _really_ think you did,” Gon admitted, patting Wolf on the rump as he dropped the stethoscope back into the pocket of his apron. His apologetic grin faded a little, replaced with something a little more frustrated. “Oh, shoot. I'll be right back, I gotta get his vaccine. You said you didn't wanna do the rabies vaccine today?”

“Yeah. I figure he'll live to get stuck with another needle some other day. Even if it means getting his butt messed with again.”

“I'm sure he'll get used to it. It comes with experience.” Surely, Killua sighed mentally, _surely_ Gon was doing this on purpose. It was easy to fire off a response, though. Testing the waters couldn't hurt, really.

“You know something about that?” Killua wondered if testing the waters _could_ hurt. It wasn't like he could just up and change vets if he embarrassed himself. Well, he could, but it would be a pain in the ass. That wasn't the kind of anal experience he was interested in.

“Trust me, Mr. Zoldyck, I handle a _lot_ of butts.”

This, Killua thought, was getting out of hand. It was hard to not whisper “Jesus,” to himself. Gon's expression faltered again.

“The vaccine. Damn, I'm sorry. It's like I'm holding you hostage by forgetting how to do my own job.”

“It's, uh. It's cool. It's not like I'm doing anything today besides Wolf-watching.”

“Right, right. I'll be back in a minute.” Gon's cheeks were a little flushed when he backed out of the room again. Seeing him flustered only made Killua swear to himself. It was definitely bad form to ask him out, especially on the job. Was Gon even gay? Was he single? Was the stupid amount of tension between them just in his imagination?

“What do you think, Wolf?” he asked quietly, patting the dog's easily. “You think daddy has a chance?”

Wolf cocked his head, starting to pant again.

Before he could sit back down with Wolf, a heavy buzz in the pocket of his jeans began. He'd turned his phone on vibrate, Killua realized after a moment of confusion, and he half-stood to wiggle it free. When he looked at the screen, a picture of Alluka holding Wolf – much, much smaller than he was now – popped up to greet him.

“Hey, what's up?” He didn't have to answer, Killua knew, but he had a few seconds to tell her he was busy and make sure there was nothing wrong.

“Hi, onii-chan! I'm on my break right now.” Wolf's ears perked up at the sound of Alluka's voice, even filtered through the phone. His tail started to wag frantically, and Killua grinned. “Did Wolf get his shots? Is he sleepy?”

“I'm actually still at the vet,” Killua said easily, and Wolf spun in a tight circle, practically shaking in excitement. Alluka gasped quietly, and Killua knew she was holding her hand over her mouth. The door on the other side of the room opened once more. Killua's eyes immediately locked on to Gon and he held a hand up to cover his phone, mouthing an apology to the other man.

“Oh no, I'm sorry!”

“It's okay, I'll call you later when I'm done. Sound good?”

“Yeah! I love you, bye-bye.”

“Love you too.” When he looked up from shoving his phone back into his pocket – his jacket this time – Gon's expression was a little wistful. He set the little metal tray with the syringe down on the counter. “My sister, sorry.”

“Oh! I thought maybe your girlfriend.” Killua snorted, before considering what it meant that Gon no longer seemed disappointed. “It's good to be close to family, though.”

“Yeah maybe. Either way, I...” Killua hesitated for only a second. He might as well put himself out there, if only in a vague sort of way. Wolf's tail was beating against the leg of the chair now, and he whined in confusion. Killua reached down to scratch the pup's head before he started sniffing around looking for Alluka. “I'm really not seeing anyone, and even if she wasn't my sister, I'm not really that into women.”

“Yeah, me neither.” He only had a moment to ask which part of that the other man meant before Gon was crooking a finger at him easily, and he missed it. The gesture seemed a little heated. “Okay, we gotta stick him one more time and then you're free.”

“Cool. Hey, Wolf, calm down. She's not here. God, he's like a toddler changing moods at the drop of a hat. Okay, back on the table bud.” Wolf barked sharply at him, but it didn't dissuade Killua from picking him up and setting him on the exam table once more. The dog seemed to realize that the cool metal under his paws meant he was going to be manhandled again, and he made another attempt at escape. Killua coiled an arm around his neck, ruffling his ears. “No butts this time.”

“Haha, guess we'll save more butt stuff for another time. Okay, little pinch.”

Maybe it was good that the visit was almost over, because Killua wasn't sure his heart could take much more of this. Wolf's certainly couldn't, and he yipped miserably as soon as the needle went in. To Gon's credit, he didn't even twitch at the sound or sudden motion. He wondered how long the other man had been at his job.

“Aw, I know, you big baby.” Killua kissed the top of Wolf's head, holding him still to keep him from trying to leap into his arms. “It was just a little poke, and now you won't get... all sorts of bad stuff, actually. That's a five-way combo, right?”

“It's actually nine. This one's got the leptospirosis, coronavirus, and a couple more vaccines on top of the normal hepatitis, distemper, parainfluenza, the works. We do the five-way if they're younger than twelve weeks, but he's a big kid now.” Gon grinned at him, setting the syringe back down on its tray. “You're all set. I know you already know this, but I gotta say it anyway – you should keep an eye on him for the next twenty-four hours, and call us if anything seems really wrong. Lethargy is normal, and his appetite might be a little off.”

“Yeah, got it. Thanks.” Wolf darted between his legs as soon as he was allowed off the table. Killua bent to clip his leash back to his collar once more. The hope that they were finally going home sparkled in the puppy's eyes.

“No problem! That's what I'm here for.” Gon's eyes dropped to the counter again, and Killua realized for the first time that there was a watch hanging from a hook on the wall there. “Oh, Mito-san's on her lunch break, so I'll get you checked out in a minute. You can go ahead back out.”

His luck was astounding, Killua thought. If the receptionist was away, that gave him more precious minutes of pseudo-alone time with Gon. He really shouldn't ask the man out, but the desire to do so was practically burning in his veins.

As soon as the door to the exam room opened, Wolf made a beeline for the exit of the building. He came up short, jerking as he ran out of leash. Killua sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. It was obvious that Wolf wasn't as keen to stick around and chat as he was. He tugged the puppy over to the front counter gently, half-crouching to grab his collar. “Wolf, sit down. Wolf. Sit.” Wolf's hindquarters hit the ground, even as he looked up pathetically at his owner and whimpered. “I know. We'll go home soon, I promise. Then you get to throw up in the car and sleep for eight hours straight. Not in the food dish this time, though.”

From the doorway behind the counter, there was a little snicker as Gon walked out and over to the computer.

“Normally it's cats you see that with,” he said, leaning over to grab the mouse. “They get upset and want to eat their feelings, and then they get tired from their big adventure and just...” Gon brought both hands together with a slap. It made Killua laugh again, even as Wolf circled around his legs anxiously and began to pant.

“He's a big fan of food. Growing boy, you know? When he's upset by the universe being so, so unfair, he just stands by the dish and cries at me like a big fluffy baby. It never works, but I'll give him credit for trying to whine a meal out of me. At his nine weeks, he did that for two hours before he got too tired, and then he just dropped where he was. Little idiot. Of course, it was only half an hour before his actual lunch time.”

Grinning, Gon typed something out. Killua fished his wallet out of his pocket, nudging Wolf aside with one knee as he pressed his entire body against his shin. “Okay, so your total today is gonna be $35.80.”

“Cool.” Gon's fingers brushed his as he handed the other man his credit card, and it send tingles down Killua's spine. That was completely ridiculous, he told himself, considering he'd shaken Gon's hand and been much more collected. “So, the receptionist. She your cousin? Sister?”

Gon stared at him for a split second, before his lips curled into a grin. He slid Killua's card, starting to laugh. “I'll have to tell her you said that. Most people don't even notice we're related, isn't that weird? I thought we really looked alike, but I guess people just look at hair and skin and call it a day. She's my mom.”

Now it was Killua's turn to stare, his mouth hanging open slightly as he tried to remember Mito's face. Gon was twenty-three, so if she was his mother... “You're shitting me. That's not the face and body of someone at _least_ pushing forty-five, unless that coffee was brewed with water from the fountain of youth.”

That only made Gon laugh harder, and he pressed the back of his hand against his mouth as he handed Killua back the card. “No, no! I'm adopted, she didn't give birth to me. She's my...” His smile was replaced by a thoughtful expression, and he seemed at a loss for words. “Second... no. Er... She's my dad's cousin. I can't never remember if that's second cousin or cousin... twice removed? Once removed? I think once removed. It doesn't really matter. Mito-san raised me, so she's my mom.”

“First cousin once removed, I think,” Killua muttered, before squinting as he considered it. His father's cousin, which meant they shared at least one grandparent that would be Gon's great-grandparent. So that made them... He shoved the card back into his wallet, still frowning. “Maybe it's twice removed. A second cousin is when your... wait, what's a second cousin then? Fuck. Sorry.”

“No, it's okay. I know I've looked it up like twenty times, and I still can't remember. It's super frustrating. Anyway, you can schedule your next visit for the rabies vaccine right now, or you can wait and call in if you don't know what times you have free yet. But remember that it's gotta be in the next month or he'll be illegally existing.”

“Yeah, no problem. I can do that now, can't imagine being a law-breaking dog owner. Right Wolf? You'll get deported to Siberia.” It only seemed to confuse Wolf more, and he raised a paw to scratch at Killua's knee. Even through his jeans, it hurt a bit. “Oh, buddy. You're okay, I promise. You're gonna rip my pants and expose my pale flesh to the harsh, harsh world.”

A very small noise that could have been a chuckle came out of Gon as he typed.

“So do you have a day you'd prefer?” The click of the mouse was surprisingly loud. Gon glanced up at him – he'd chosen to remain standing and just bent over to reach the keyboard. Killua tore his eyes away from the sharp cut of the other man's shoulder blades and forced the question of just how fit he was under those scrubs out of his mind. “We can do the same time next Saturday if that works for you.”

“Yeah.” It was a little hoarse, and Killua coughed before repeating himself. “Yeah, that's. Good. So...”

He dug his phone out of his pocket once more, unlocking it and typing the date into his calendar. Gon was already reaching over to the little wooden holder full of appointment cards, peering at the computer screen as he typed with one hand and wrote with the other.

“Saturday at ten, great.” Gon's eyes met his, and then dropped to the phone in his hand. He let out a startled little laugh, flipping the card over to reveal the time and date of the appointment. The expression on his face was genuinely flustered, and Killua wanted to sit down on the floor and put his head in his hands. “Sorry, I should have figured you'd put it in your phone. I can just... hold on to this. I guess.”

“Nah, it's cool. I'll stick it on the fridge in case my phone screws me over again. Sometimes it doesn't send notifications.” Again, Gon's fingers brushed against his knuckles as their hands pulled away from one another. Wolf yipped sharply at him, jumping to put both paws against the side of the counter. It made the leash that he'd wound around Killua's legs tighten, and he quickly shoved the card into his pocket before he lost his balance. Even as he grabbed at the lip of the counter, one of Gon's hands shot out to snatch his wrist. “Jesus Christ, Wolf! We'll go in a minute, give me a break. Th-thanks, sorry. I guess he's a little more antsy than I thought he was.”

Knowing his cheeks were red, Killua turned a little in place to give the leash some more slack before untangling himself. There was a little tap as the cat jumped onto the counter, looking much more relaxed than he had before. Gon's eyes narrowed nonetheless, and he scooped Kon up instantly. “You gonna try to be mean again? No hitting babies. Can't believe I have to say that!”

Wolf didn't seem to have noticed, as fixated as he was on the door. “Well, I guess that's us done.”

“Yep!” Gon's laugh was a little awkward, Killua realized with some interest. “I guess I'll see you next Saturday for another round of needles and thermometers. Hopefully he,” he held one of the cat's paws up like he was waving, “Won't make another fuss. Right, Kon? Say bye-bye! Have a nice day, Mr. Zoldyck.”

Kon blinked lazily at him, looking for all the world like a sleepy baby. Killua slid one hand into his pocket, thumbing the little paper card a little anxiously. It was stupid – the last time he'd turned his fidgeting towards something made of paper, he'd given himself a nasty cut. Gon was still looking at him a little eagerly, and it took all he had to keep from asking him out on the spot.

He could figure out what he wanted to do in the coming week, probably. That had to be better than blurting something out right away and possibly humiliating himself. “Yeah, you too. Okay, you ready to go buddy? Wanna go in the car?”

It was like the light had come back into Wolf's life. He yanked at the leash, his paws scrabbling on the tiles as Killua walked. Behind him he could hear Gon laughing, and he held a hand up in a sort of casual wave. Hopefully it looked cool and nonchalant.

Wolf tried to sit in his lap the entire drive back to his apartment, nudging his arm every few moments in an attempt to get him to move it out of the way. He'd done it the whole way there as well, so it wasn't anything he wasn't used to. Calling Alluka back was the first thing he had to do, obviously, but there wasn't a whole lot else besides finishing his laundry. Saturday afternoon, no classes, all coursework already reluctantly completed. With no other obligations, Killua had blocked out the entire day in anticipation for Wolf to be fussy and tired. He couldn't help but want to keep an eye on him until he was back to normal.

By the time he'd parked in front of the apartment, Wolf was dozing despite his precarious perch in the passenger seat. He looked ridiculous with both of his front paws on the floor and his back paws on the seat, his nose touching the carpet. His ears barely perked when Killua laughed at him and unlocked the doors. As exhausted as he seemed, to Wolf's credit he'd kept the contents of his stomach in his stomach this time. “Wolf, come on. Take a nap inside. You wanna go crate?”

Wolf snuffled at him, his tail starting to wave lazily and his ears flattening back. Killua knew automatically that he was going to have to pick up the dog and carry him, which was fine. A soft, wet tongue lapped at his cheek and mouth as he gathered Wolf into his arms, making him scowl in disgust. Cheeks and chins were one thing, but mouths were another entirely. “Okay, stinker. Wanna go crate? No? You wanna go bed?”

Wolf whined directly in his ear, setting his muzzle on Killua's shoulder. He was definitely better than a human baby, but it didn't mean he couldn't occasionally be a huge pain in the ass.

His armful of dog made unlocking and opening the door more of a struggle than it had any right to be, and Wolf made no attempt to be helpful and not annoying. He patted at Killua's chest with his paws, letting out another keening whine. “You're such a fucking baby, come on. You've got a clean bill of health and some new good stuff in you to keep things that way. I'll let you sleep in bed today, but just because you're feeling bad.”

Killua closed the door behind himself with one foot, setting Wolf down at the same time. The puppy gave him another whine, looking for all the world like he was completely lost in the universe. He yawned with yet another high, squeaking whimper. Crouching to pat him on the head, Killua pointed to the water dish across the room. Wolf's nose followed his finger, and his tail beat against Killua's side. “You wanna get a drink, Wolf? Come on, you didn't forget how your feet work. Don't be dramatic.”

Even with his little chuffing whines, Wolf padded over to the water dish on his own. It gave Killua a chance to put his keys and phone on the counter and consider things. It was almost noon, which meant Alluka would be done with her shift at the bakery soon. He'd have to wait until then to call, even though it was only about five minutes time. Glancing down at his feet, Killua snorted. Wolf was going to drain the dish, not only from drinking the water. It was fine; that was what the mat beneath the bowl was for. Still, the pace at which Wolf was drinking spelled out danger.

“Wolf, slow down. You're gonna make yourself hurl, and then I'm gonna have to clean it up.” Wolf completely ignored him, but he wandered away from the dish anyway to flop unceremoniously on the floor. “Good boy.”

The little 'thwap-thwap-thwap' of Wolf's tail beating against the tile was a welcome sound. Killua rolled his eyes despite his grin, and he pulled his wallet out to put next to his keys. There was a little click as Wolf stood again, and Killua pressed a hand to his forehead to await the inevitable sound of water and bile splattering against the floor. It came a few seconds later, and then Wolf retreated guiltily to his crate without any prompting.

“Are you proud of yourself?”

Wolf put his head on his paws, looking completely ashamed. Killua knew the dog didn't actually know _why_ he felt guilty, just that he was expected to and so he did. Sighing, he tore off a long strip of paper towels, folding them over to toss over the little puddle of regurgitated water. It wasn't too bad, all things considered. It wasn't anything like when Wolf had, despite his best efforts to prevent it, obsessively eaten a truly disgusting amount of the worms that had moved to the sidewalk because of the rain and thrown _that_ up.

He pressed the paper towels down gingerly with one foot. As much as he loved Wolf, Killua wasn't interested in getting vomit on his shoes. They were _nice_ , after all.

“You're such a stupid infant,” Killua mumbled. Wolf sniffed the thick blankets that lined his crate, nosing them over so that he could lick the pillow under them. He clicked his tongue at the dog, and got a weary blink as a response. Wolf failed to completely retract his tongue into his mouth as he sat his head down again.

Once the mess was cleaned up, Killua picked his phone up again and walked into the bedroom. If he was going to talk to Alluka, it was probably better to do it where Wolf wouldn't hear him and lose his mind.

The bed creaked a little when he sat, the same damn spring that kept squeaking at him whenever he rolled over. If he didn't have a new box-spring ordered already, he would have just driven out and bought a cheap one to stop the awful noise. Until then, the couch was less of a hassle. Killua tapped his fingers against his knee as the phone rang, and the repetitive sound of Wolf going right back to licking the pillow resumed.

“Stop licking your pillow, oh my god.”

“I don't think I'm licking my pillow,” Alluka said, before bursting into a stream of giggles. Covering his eyes with one hand, Killua groaned. “Is Wolf being fussy?”

“He's being a big dramatic baby is what he's being. He almost made me wipe out at the vet, he kept doing that thing where he circles around my legs? God. Anyway, he's fine. He's going back next week for the rabies shot, and then he's golden for another two weeks.”

“And then he's all done?”

“Yeah, mostly. I mean there's still boosters for shit every year, and the lyme vaccine. But he's almost done with the basics at least.”

“Mom and Dad are gonna be really, really mad when they realize you tricked them,” Alluka said cheerfully, as if the idea was an absolute delight to her. It was inevitable that they'd find out, of course, but Killua figured he had at least another month before his mother caught on. He suspected that his father was another matter entirely – it had probably already occurred to him, but he hadn't said anything. “Bisky was really nice to help you, though. They never would have let you keep him. What did you buy her again?”

“That fucking hat she wanted with the fake fur and the matching shawl. And a parfait. I don't care, I got my dog. Even if I had to sneak around and buy him from Dad with his own money through a secret middle-man.” Killua slid a hand in his pocket, his fingers finding the appointment card again. He ran his thumb down the side distractedly, snorting to himself. “Anyway. You still want my help with your history assignment, right?”

“Mhm! I'll bring fresh bread and some of the little cookies you like.”

“The Italian ones with the chocolate rims?”

“Yeah!”

“I will write your paper _for_ you if you bring me those.”

“Onii-chan, that's cheating,” Alluka said with a huff. He knew she was blowing her cheeks out, her lips pursed in that legendary pout she made. Of course she wanted to do it herself – she always wanted to know how to do things on her own.

“Is it? Suddenly I can't hear. I don't know.” The sudden sharp pain in his thumb made Killua yank his hand out of his pocket with a hiss. He should have known better, he told himself as he popped the tip of his thumb into his mouth. It wasn't a bad paper cut, but even a little one hurt like a bitch.

“Is something wrong?”

“Got a paper cut,” he said around his thumb, before opting to just lick the tiny cut and shake his hand out. “Damn, that smarts. I knew it would happen too and I kept messing with the damn 'next appointment' card.”

“Aw, no. Get a bandaid before you get blood on stuff.”

“Yeah, yeah. You wanna come over for lunch? Wolf's gonna be pretty out of commission but I bet he'd still like tummy scratches.” It would probably be better if he put the card on the fridge so he wouldn't forget and keep fidgeting with it. He pulled it out of his pocket, tapping it against his knee.

“Sounds good! I'll box up the cookies.”

“Cool.” There was something written on the back of the card, he realized abruptly. Killua flipped the card over to read it. “Oh my god.”

Gon's handwriting was devastatingly cute, sort of blocky with lopsided curves. The letters slanted a little. That wasn't what he was really looking at, just a distant detail in the back of his mind. Neat, bubbly letter spelled out 'Wolf's rabies vaccine!' and a smiley-face.

“What? Is something wrong?”

“Oh my _god!”_

 

Under it was a phone number, and a winky-face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Dave wasn't this supposed to be a oneshot?" "I don't know what you're talking about. I can't ready, suddenly. I don't know."
> 
> For the record, also, don't worry! I'll still be updating Mithridatism, I just wanted to do something a little more... low-tension. Things have been sort of stressful for me, so winding down with puppies is just what a man needs.

“... and he gave you his number?” Alluka's voice was flat and exhausted now, and Killua barely noticed at all. He shoved another cookie into his mouth, before holding up the little appointment card for the twentieth time in the past ten minutes. It was bad manners to talk with his mouth full, but he was still so stunned that he didn't give a single shit.

“Yeah, holy shit. That's totally his number. Like, I thought he might be hitting on me but I wasn't _sure_ if he was hitting on me? It was really sort of vague and I just wond-”

“Onii-chan, come on.” Alluka buried her face into Wolf's fur, and the dog panted happily. As soon as she'd arrived, he'd perked up again. It wasn't really surprising. Sometimes Killua thought Wolf loved Alluka more than he loved him.

He couldn't _really_ blame Wolf though.

“I know,” Killua sighed, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward in his chair. He set the card on the table. Alluka was sitting on the floor with Wolf half in her lap, his muzzle pointed straight up in an attempt to lick her chin again. That was his automatic response to belly rubs, after all – trying to kiss whoever was doing it. “Okay, yeah. That's not what you're here for, I get it.”

“Aw, Wolf,” Alluka cooed, and Wolf's tail started to swish against the floor again. He redoubled his efforts, squirming frantically on his back in an attempt to scoot closer. “Who wants kissies? Who's a good boy? It's you! Yes it is! My good boy, yes you are!”

“I'm not going to let you take him from me,” Killua snorted, even though he was grinning at them. It was painfully cute to watch, all the family he needed sitting together on the floor of his apartment. Alluka glanced back up at him, beaming.

“What if you don't have a say? I'll sneak in while you're at class and just spirit him away. Mwuah! The best boy in this house.”

“Ow,” Killua deadpanned, pressing a hand over his heart and wincing for effect. It only made Alluka giggle more, and Wolf whined a little when she stopped petting him. “You're gonna be the death of me.”

“Nah. Anyway!” Alluka bent down to kiss the top of Wolf's head again, before rolling him out of her lap and standing again. She brushed the fur off her skirt, shaking it out a little. Killua yanked the chair next to him out, and Wolf followed her over. “Aw, no baby, pet time is over. Now it's homework time. I know, I don't like it either.”

“So it's what, Edo period stuff?”

“Mhm. I have to write – hold on, let me get the assignment out.” Alluka unzipped her bag and dug around in it for a moment. She pulled out a pastel pink notebook, sighed, replaced it, and then pulled a matching purple one. “There we go! I have to write about an important event that occurred during the Edo period, but not something involving political turmoil. Law reform is okay, but not any battles or uprisings. But other than that, it's just earthquakes and tsunamis, and more earthquakes, even more tsunamis, and then earthquakes that _caused_ tsunamis, and if I read about another tsunami I'm gonna tear my hair out. I think there was a fire in there somewhere, so I _guess_ I could write about that. I just don't know what to write about! Once I have a topic I think I'll be fine, but...”

“Isn't there anything good that happened? Edo was like 200 years, there's gotta be _something_ positive that happened.”

“There's just a bunch of failed uprisings, earthquakes and tsunamis, shoguns dying, and loads and loads of laws about closing off Japan. There was a famine, I think, but that sounds like it'd be really awful to write about. At least with natural disasters you can talk about the geological or meteorological stuff that caused it... But I don't wanna write about earthquakes! There's so many, they just blur together in my head!”

Killua frowned, trying to think back to his history classes. All he could remember was world history – understandable, given that it was the most recent course he'd taken. He'd only reluctantly taken Japanese history at the behest of his mother, after all. “What about when Mt. Fuji erupted? The last one was during Edo, right? Or was that after the Meiji restoration. Shit.”

Alluka put her head in her hands, sighing. “That was because of an earthquake,” she mumbled forlornly. It made him bite back a laugh – there was just something so funny about seeing her so dejected over a thing like that.

“Okay,” he said, and Wolf nudged his elbow with a little whine. Killua glanced at the clock. He didn't think he'd spent so much time talking about Gon that it was time for Wolf to have lunch, but he suddenly wasn't sure. “No, buddy, you still have another half an hour to go. What, you need to go outside? Or are you just sad we're not paying attention to you?”

The dog's ears perked, and his tail began to wag again. It made his whole body shake. Alluka reached over to scratch the top of his head. “He's so lonely now, just wants a big hug. Right Wolfie? Aww. You're all over your scare, huh? Mean kitties.”

“He's such a coward, afraid of a fat old cat.” Killua didn't feel like admitting that he'd gotten startled by it too, or that he'd been genuinely scared that Wolf was hurt. He thought Alluka probably knew anyway. When it came to Wolf he was fairly predictable. “Big baby scared of getting hit. _And_ scared of getting injections too.”

“Hmmmmmm.” It was just drawn out enough to make him narrow his eyes. The look that she was giving him was one Killua wasn't sure he was comfortable with. Alluka grinned a little, that mischievous smile she made when she was about to say something that would embarrass him. “But you're not scared of that at all, huh?”

“Scared of wh- oh my god, who _are_ you?” Killua took a fistful of his own shirt, staring up at the ceiling imploringly. “Where did my innocent little sister go? Wolf, how did she trick you into thinking she was Alluka?”

Alluka raised her eyebrows at him. “Am I wrong, though? Onii-chan, you're sort of obvious, you know? You like him.”

“Well... but _that's_ another thing to talk about compared to, you know, sex. I don't wanna talk about my sex life with my little sister, Jesus.” His eyes flicked to the card, still on the table and proudly proclaiming Gon Freecss' phone number. It had been almost an hour since that revelation and it still made his heart do some sort of strange acrobatics in his chest. “I met him earlier today, don't you think that's a little early to have that sort of thing on the mind? No, don't answer that, it wasn't actually a question.”

Resting her chin in her hand, Alluka clicked her tongue. She just liked teasing him, he knew. If he stopped reacting, it would stop being fun for her. But Killua couldn't help but get flustered by it. Gon had freckles and dimples and broad shoulders and muscles and pushed every single physical button he had. It was simply beyond his control. “You gonna call him?”

“Uh...” As elated as he was to have the number, Killua wasn't sure how well he would handle what it was actually for. The intense phone anxiety that had plagued his youth was finally manageable, but the feeling of not knowing what to do or say was still there. How would he even start? “Hi, this is Killua, the guy whose dog your cat hit and the guy you were in retrospect sort of obviously hitting _on_.”

“Onii-chan, really.”

“So homework right? Yeah, homework.” Killua reached over the table to grab another cookie and shove it in his mouth. The elation had to fade eventually, of course, but he wished it could have stuck around a little longer. Alluka puffed her cheeks out, and Killua pointedly stared at the assignment guidelines on the paper sitting in front of them instead. “There's a list of starting places here right? They didn't just throw you out in the wild with no suggestions?”

“Now you're avoiding.” She was right, of course, but at the same time it wasn't supposed to be the main topic of discussion. Killua tapped a finger against the paper, holding his other hand up as if to ask what else she wanted from him. “I'm gonna write about the fire, maybe. We have to have topics for next class, but we don't have to start on the paper yet.”

“Can't you write about all that theater stuff? Kabuki is important enough right? Like, it's notable. Kabuki's still fucking famous even if it's a niche thing nowadays. Everybody knows what kabuki is.” He stretched out a little over the table. Promising Alluka that he'd help might have been a bad idea. It was becoming clearly apparent that he didn't remember a damn thing about the course. Killua snatched up another cookie, frowning heavily now. “Didn't the creepy puppet theater start then too? Ugh, maybe that's _too_ creepy.”

“I might be able to write about kabuki,” Alluka said eventually, her lips pursed as she considered it. A lock of hair that had been trying to escape her ponytail finally fell free against her cheek. Wolf put his head on her thigh, looking back and forth between them hopefully. He was too worn out to try and jump in her lap, Killua noted. “I don't know if there's a solid start point or if it was like a folk thing with ambiguous origins that caught on... I guess I could look it up.”

“Ask your professor before you start on it, though. It'd suck if you put in a load of work and then couldn't actually use it.” Killua reached out to tuck the unruly hair back behind her ear, and Alluka grinned at him. A high, quiet whine came from Wolf as Killua picked up another cookie. “No way, chocolate's bad for puppies. You'll get sick and then I'll have to take you back to where the mean kitty li- don't even start.”

The gleam of Alluka's teeth as she smiled seemed almost menacing. “Silver lining, right? If Wolf gets sick, at leas-”

“Oh my god, shut up.”

“Well, anyway. If I can't write about kabuki, I'll just default to the fire or Mt. Fuji I guess. 'In 1600-whatever, this horrible thing happened and loads of people died horribly. The end.'” Alluka tugged a pen from her bag, scribbled down 'Ask abt. kabuki' and 'Mt. Fuji' at the bottom of the assignment sheet, and closed the notebook again. She reached to scratch Wolf's head, wiggling his ears around and squishing his cheeks. “Look at this sweet baby. I can't imagine you getting sick, huh? Your daddy's gonna flip out every time you sneeze.”

“He sneezes all the fucking time,” Killua grumbled, his cheeks flushing a little. “Don't make me sound like some sort of helicopter mom following her kid around with a box of bandaids and lollipops.”

“Didn't you freak out about him eating a load of feathers because you were afraid he'd get hurt?”

“I freaked out because he ate half my pillow. Also because I knew what was going to happen when they came _out_ of him. I had to chase him around for an hour, need I remind you. An hour, all because he had a shitty feather tickling his ass and he was terrified of it.”

“He thought it was gonna attack him, I bet.” At least Alluka thought it was funny. Killua rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat. Wolf sat, his tail wagging as he let out a little howl for attention. Alluka squished his face again, and he began to pant earnestly. “Aw, little baby. Scared of his own butt, scared of kitties, what's next?”

“Scared that he won't get lunch.” Killua forced himself to his feet, and Wolf's head followed him as he walked from the table into the kitchen. There was hope in his eyes, Killua noted with a laugh. The second he crouched to pick up the food dish, Wolf let out a whining yawn and dashed forward. “Look at you, Jesus. I had to carry you inside, but food? Food still makes you run.”

“Food loves him unconditionally,” Alluka said teasingly, crossing her legs as she watched him scoop out kibble. “And so do you, which means you'll pick him up when he's sad.”

“If you do this next week I'm gonna leave you in the car,” Killua informed Wolf sternly. The dog stared up at him, panting eagerly before howling despondently again. “Okay, don't fucking yodel at me. Here you go. Eat _slow_ , for god's sake. You won't get more if you barf it up.”

As soon as he set the dish down, Wolf shoved his entire face into it and began to eat like he had been starved for days – the way he always did. He watched the puppy for a moment, frowning.

“You think I should feed him more? I know I'm not giving him too little, but it's always like he thinks the world's about to end and wants finish before everything dies.”

“Maybe you should space it out more?” Alluka laced her fingers, rubbing the heels of her hands together as she thought about it. “But he's already getting three meals, right?”

“Yeah, and it's never more than ten minutes difference from day to day, so it's not a weird schedule slip thing. If it was just today that'd be one thing, since he had such a big dramatic adventure.” Killua scratched the back of his neck, just watching Wolf as the dog practically inhaled his food. “He's gonna choke one of these days and I'll have to give him the doggy Heimlich, swear to god.”

“Maybe you should get Gon to demonst-”

“Get out of this house.”

“It's an apartment. But if I leave I'm taking the cookies!”

Killua lunged across the kitchen again, taking a fistful of cookies and shoving them in his mouth. Alluka's eyes widened, and then she was scowling at him. If not for the cookies, he'd have stuck his tongue out at her.

“Onii-chan, you're a big baby. I'm not _really_ gonna take the cookies, I brought them for you and it's not like I can take them back to the shop. I do really need to get going though. I have class at two, and if I miss the next bus I won't get there on time. If you do stuff like that I'm gonna have to do the Heimlich on _you_.”

Chewing awkwardly, Killua shrugged. It hurt to swallow, too much dry cookie for one mouth to handle. He coughed out crumbs, smacking his chest with one hand. “Don't lie to me about cookies. I take them very seriously.”

“I know. But that was really, really ridiculous. Wolf gets it from you, you know? Being dramatic.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“No wonder he knew you liked boys.”

Killua groaned, running a hand through his hair as he sat again. Wolf trotted over to him, laying down at his feet under the table and sighing. He reached down to pat the puppy's back. “Are you gonna drop this or what?”

“Depends. Are you gonna call him or what?”

“I'm not gonna call him in front of you! Besides, he's definitely at work?”

“I didn't mean right now,” Alluka said with a huff, getting to her feet and putting her hands on her hips. “But I know you, and I know you'll get all distracted by 'what-ifs' and not do anything. So you have to promise me you'll talk to him! I can tell you really liked him, so be an adult!”

“I remember when you were two feet tall and just wanted me to spin you around,” Killua said wistfully, leaning into one palm. Alluka hit him gently with her bag as she picked it up. She wasn't really that annoyed, he knew – he was far from the only dramatic one. “Now you want me to do things like taxes and making sensible dating decisions.”

“I didn't say anything about taxes. All I said was, if you like him, call him. If you _don't_ call him,” and now her voice was high and annoyed, “I don't wanna hear anything else about him.”

“Okay, damn. I get it.” Killua pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. “No, seriously, I get it. I just... don't know what to say.”

Alluka pulled the strap of her bag over one shoulder, beaming at him. Wolf's collar jingled a little as he lifted his head to stare at Alluka.“Well, the good news is that you have hours and hours to figure that out! Okay, I gotta go. I love you, bye-bye!”

Wolf was following her to the door, as expected. She crouched to pet him, kissing his forehead with an exaggerated noise. Killua rolled his eyes. She had a point, loathe as he was to admit it. “Yeah, yeah. Have fun at class!”

“I won't!”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's still Christmas where I am! Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, please enjoy Dogs

With Alluka's departure, Wolf seemed to have made his peace with passing out on the floor like the world's weirdest stuffed animal. The tip of his tongue protruded from his muzzle, and with the way his head was angled it made it so that almost touched the ground. All of the excitement of the day had taken its toll despite the nap he'd taken earlier.

Killua watched him for a while, snapping a picture to send to Alluka. The question of what to do with the rest of his day filled his mind – he'd taken everything off in order to watch the dog, but it meant he really had nothing to do _but_ watch the dog.

“What do you think, Wolf?” The puppy barely even twitched, his nostrils flaring a little. He could clean the apartment, Killua supposed. It wasn't something he really wanted to do, but what else was there? Making enough food for the entire week was an option too, but it seemed even less appealing. He could do it easily, given his decent amount of culinary knowledge. But Killua could only eat so much of salad, soups, and sandwiches in a week before losing his mind.

He sliced the bread that Alluka had brought while he thought. No classes until Monday, unlike Alluka who had two weekend classes because she was an overachiever. No real obligations. It reminded him of the fact that he did very little with his life beyond classes and work. Even then, it wasn't like he had anything he really wanted to do with said life.

Doing laundry was only ten minutes of his time, even folding everything as slowly as he possibly could. There was only so much time a person could use up in hanging shirts and folding jeans and rolling up pairs and pairs of socks. One sock was missing, and Killua suspected that if he were to look, he would find it shoved in the back of Wolf's crate. The dog was keen on snatching up socks and underwear if he could get to them. Probably, the vanished sock was no longer in wearable condition. It was lucky that they weren't expensive socks.

That had been the first thing he'd done to prepare for pet ownership – separating out the delicate, expensive clothing he owned and hiding it the fuck away so that Wolf couldn't destroy it. Dress shirts, ties, his nicest shoes, all went on the shelves in his closet, high out of reach and folded carefully in boxes. If he wore them, they'd go in the wash and be returned to their places right away to keep them from being sniffed out of the laundry basket or picked up from the floor.

Wolf sneezed, the way he always did when he was on his back for too long. It made Killua snort. If the dog had been more awake, maybe he could have gone to the park for another adventure. But that was too many adventures in one day for a sleepy puppy.

Taking a nap himself would fuck up his already-tenuous sleep cycle.

There was only one thing to be done. Killua pulled his phone from his pocket and loaded up his kryptonite. It was something he should have been more ashamed of than he was, but even Alluka couldn't get him to feel really bad about playing rhythm games on his phone until his thumbs fell off. Wolf rolled over at the familiar jingling sound of the game, snorting hard. “I know, buddy,” Killua said, reaching out with one foot to pat him. “Daddy has an addiction and it's not glamorous at all and should not be emulated. Don't give me the sad face. You know it's Alluka's fault.”

She'd introduced him to the game that had taken over half his life, after all.

Mid-way through his seventh game, the phone rang and played the sound he had been dreading.

He didn't have to answer, Killua knew. He stared up at the ceiling as the chiptune piano beeped out the beginning of Beethoven's Fifth. The name “Mom” flashed at him as it rang, with no picture accompanying it. Like he would take a picture of his mother and waste precious space on his phone. Sighing, he hit 'accept call', with exhaustion already in his soul.

“Hello,” Killua said dully, standing to walk into the other room. If Wolf decided to be noisy, that would force him to lie. He didn't have a problem with that, but it was just better to avoid it entirely if he could.

“Hello, Killu?” His mother's voice was as obnoxious as ever. There was just something about the enthusiasm with which she spoke to him. And that stupid pet-name, which had somehow persisted well past the point where it had any right to. “How are you, sweetheart?”

“Fine, Mom.” The good thing about talking to his mother on the phone was that she couldn't see him rolling his eyes. Something in his back twinged uncomfortably, near the base of his spine. Just hearing her talk brought back bad memories. But he didn't have much of a choice in talking to her. It wasn't like he was funding himself, after all. “Did you need something.”

“Are you sure you're fine? You sound _very_ down. Have you been eating properly? Sleeping? Should I send your brother to che-”

“No thank you!”

“You know I'm just worried about your health.”

The worst part, Killua knew, was that she really believed that. “I'm fine, just doing homework.”

“Oh! That's fine then.” It was such a shitty lie. But it had been true enough times that maybe she'd bought it. At least now that he was in college, she wouldn't try to restructure the PTA in an attempt to pressure the school into catering to him.

In the kitchen, Wolf let out a huffing noise. Killua gritted his teeth hard, retreating into the bathroom with his hand over the phone. “I'm sort of busy, so...”

“I was just calling to check in on you, and also! Since the term is ending soon, your father wants to know if you plan on coming home for the summer.”

“No.” Killua sat on the toilet lid, cradling his head in one hand. It was what he'd expected, really. There was always an ulterior motive, besides the common one that came with his mother's controlling, overbearing nature.

“But you _must_ want to come see-”

“Got plans. With friends.”

“Killu, please. We both know you don't have friends.” It sounded so much like Illumi. Well, he'd learned it from her, after all. How to tear him down.

Killua wanted to scream “And whose fault do you think that is?” into the phone and hang up. Sometimes he wished he had a landline phone, so that he could slam it into the receiver for maximum catharsis in his fantasies. “You don't know that.”

“I see.” There was a little pause, the one that came when she was making eye contact with Illumi to plan out whatever manipulation they'd settle in on to force him into visiting. At least they couldn't use Alluka against him, not now that she was living in a college dorm out of their reach both physically and financially. “I'll ask again closer to summer, then.”

The answer wouldn't be different – at least not the one in his heart. More than once, they had gotten him to come even when he hated it. The previous Christmas had been a disaster until he'd been able to escape and spend the rest of the evening with Alluka – she wasn't invited, of course, and he'd only been manipulated into making an appearance.

Knowing he was financially dependent on the people who had all but abandoned his sister made him sick. It wasn't as if he was unemployed, but balancing coursework with work-work was an incredible mental strain. Working part-time was all he could handle emotionally, really. Even then, sometimes he wanted to strangle his boss. Bisky was a wonderful human being and he was lucky to have her in his life, Killua reminded himself.

If she commented that he should smile more at the girls who came in one more time, he'd stab her to death and steal from the register before going on the run with Wolf.

It was a good thing he'd been funneling money into a private account for months – small amounts, easily hidden in his grocery bills and other shopping expenses. The best lie had been saying his car had cost over a thousand more than it really did. In the unlikely event that they cut him off, he had _something_. It wouldn't be enough to continue school, but it was enough to counteract the threat when it came - “I have enough to get by even if you never give me anything else.” If it somehow came down to that, he'd drop out and work full-time. Even if it meant more time spent with Palm pacing around the shop without ever making a purchase.

“Okay bye.” He ended the call before his mother got another chance to speak, even to say goodbye. The game flashed at him, asking if he wanted to resume play. He turned the display off – his combo was lost, alongside his patience. He'd pick it up again later, when his mind wasn't full of unpleasant thoughts of family. Wolf nudged the bathroom door open, his eyes sad as he looked at Killua. “I know, right? Come here and give daddy a kissy.”

The puppy started to wag his tail, a low fanning motion. He made a little warbling howl, his nails clicking on the bathroom tile as he padded over. Wolf always knew when he was upset, at least. And when Wolf wanted him to feel better, there wasn't any sickening underlying hope or plot to it. Killua reached out to squish the dog's cheeks, and laughed when he reared up to rest his paws in his lap.

“There's my good boy. You wanna take a nap? I think we earned it, right? But we should go outside first so you can do your business, you little pooper.” Wolf yipped loudly, the sound echoing around the bathroom. Grinning, Killua stood again and slid his phone into his pocket. Wolf wove around his legs as he walked, his tail held high. “What, you gotta make a poopy? My poopy little puppy.”

By the time he'd picked up the leash, Wolf was already pacing eagerly at the door. He licked Killua's face when he bent to clip the leash to his collar, making him scowl and wipe at his lips. Completely ignoring his discomfort, Wolf howled mournfully. “Not the mouth, buddy. Come on. Have mercy.”

It was a pretty short walk, all things considered. Wolf didn't seem very interested in exploring or exercise, just relieving his bladder. And as soon as the door closed behind them and Killua detached the leash from him once more, he simply padded into the bedroom without anything more than a little huff.

Killua rolled his eyes, tossing the leash carelessly onto the couch. When he followed the dog, he saw that Wolf was sitting at the foot of the bed waiting for him. He hadn't jumped up without permission, he noted smugly. It was clearly apparent that his dog was an angelic genius.

The squeaky spring sounded its annoying tone as he sat down on the bed and kicked his shoes and pants off. Wolf sprang up next to him the second he patted the bed, shoving his nose firmly in Killua's armpit in an attempt to get him to lift his arm to make room.

“What, you want hugs now?” Wolf licked his shirt, giving him a pitiful look. All he could really do in response to that was laugh. He climbed under the covers, tugging a pillow to the side to give Wolf a place to settle in. It was inevitable that he'd get too hot to stand it if Wolf was snuggled up next to him and he didn't make any changes, so it was better if he just bit the bullet and yanked his shirt off in advance.

“Don't you dare,” Killua told Wolf as the dog raised his head again and opened his mouth. Almost immediately, he set his muzzle back down and just leveled that sad expression at Killua until he relented and pet him again. Wolf wriggled closer to him, bumping his nose against Killua's neck with a little keening noise. He wrapped an arm around the dog, scratching behind one of his pointed ears. “Okay. But no licking my chest, that's just too weird.”

A soft pink tongue squished against his collarbone, and Killua sighed. There was really no helping it in the end. Wolf didn't have anything resembling a firm grasp of language, as he lovingly reminded the dog all the time. Which was fine – knowing basic commands was definitely good enough, and the fact that he listened to them almost every time was a blessing.

“Who's my good boy?” Wolf licked his cheek, snuffling loudly in his ear as he scooted to put his head on the pillow alongside Killua's. Killua ran a hand through his hair, setting his lips in a thin line of exaggerated annoyance. He wondered if Wolf knew when he was faking it. “Wolf, come on. You're not people. People put heads on pillows. You're a dog.”

As expected, it meant precisely nothing to the puppy. He wagged his tail, his eyes sparkling a little. When Wolf pressed his nose against Killua's cheek again, it was wet and cold and made him scoff.

“Yeah, yeah. Daddy loves you too.”

After a while, the thought of the phone number stuck to his fridge with a magnet became too persistent to ignore. What would he do about it? It was a different matter entirely to call about something like business or scheduling an appointment. Killua wasn't sure if his social skills were up to snuff to shoot the shit with someone over the phone. Without body language to read (apparently poorly, since he'd misjudged Gon's flirting), he was one source of information down. It was really better to have all the input he possibly could once he'd crossed the line of immediate communication. Emails and texting were a different...

“Stupid,” Killua whispered. Texting. He was a complete idiot. Time-lapsed communication was a gift and he would take it in a heartbeat. He could text at literally any time without the pressure for an immediate response. And _everyone_ had texting now. Wolf twitched in his sleep, a tiny little howl emerging from him. Quiet howls were a blessing, Killua thought. The times when Wolf wailed and whined at the top of his lungs for attention were the worst times.

It was a testament to how tired the dog was that he didn't move when Killua carefully scooched away from him and out of the bed. His ears twitched at the shutter sound of a photo being snapped, but otherwise he didn't move. Killua kept his footsteps as quiet as he could as he left the bedroom. After such a big day, it seemed unfair to disturb Wolf's nap time.

Was it going too far to put Gon's number in his phone? It seemed like he was jumping the gun if he did that. Instead, he typed it in for a new text message - “Four, three, three, two...” and stared at the blinking cursor waiting for him to write something. He sat down at the table again, snagging a cookie and nibbling at it.

And then Killua was facing the same problem that he had before: what to say.

He finished the song he'd been playing earlier, with an excellent score and an embarrassing combo. If nothing else, it gave him the chance to try and come up with something while not dedicating his entire mind to it. There were loads of things he _could_ type, but all of them were awkward or too confident all at once. How did hitting on someone over text work? Was he really trying to hit on Gon, or just strike up a conversation with the implied end goal of... of what?

“Shit, am I trying to fuck him or date him?” Until that moment, Killua wasn't sure what he had been trying to accomplish. Gon was attractive in more ways than just physically. And when it came to physically, Killua was confident that he knew what he wanted. But...

“I'm really not seeing anyone,” he had said. It was an understatement. He'd _never_ really been seeing anyone. Relationships were a dark, murky lake. He'd dipped a foot in years ago, and been bitten by something lurking beneath the water.

And he'd _just_ met Gon, hours before. It really was stupidly soon to even be thinking about it. Killua set his phone down, running his hands through his hair. Why did he seem so familiar, like they had known one another for years? There was something there, a strange spark that had lit up immediately. Maybe it was his just mind finally snapping from the aimlessness of his life.

Sighing, Killua stared at the table. The listless feeling that so often overtook him was back – the feeling that he was just idling his way through life. Wolf had helped with that, thankfully, but it was hard to banish the idea of his own uselessness. He could send Alluka the stupid picture of Wolf, at least.

The sudden realization made him want to punch himself. Killua glanced over to the half-closed bedroom door, grinning. He didn't have to say anything about himself. Wolf was the greatest ice-breaker in the world.

Under the picture of Wolf asleep in bed, he typed out _**“Big baby recovering from his big adventure”**_ and hit send before he could change his mind.

For a moment, Killua just sat there, staring at the sent message. What if Gon _didn't_ have texting? Would it read as sent if that was the case? He should have pulled up his big boy pants and resolved to call later, Killua thought. Now he couldn't – if the message had sent _and_ he called, wasn't that creepy? At the very least, it was embarrassingly eager. The phone's screen went dark, and Killua scowled at his own reflection. It always looked so much worse from the surface of a phone. Sighing, he looked up at the ceiling.

“What the fuck am I doing, why am I so nervous? I'm not in some shitty young adult romance novel. Too fucking queer for that. Well, unless we both died in the end after a tragic whirlwind romance. No, but I wouldn't even exist, bi people are a myth. Ugh, fuck that noise.”

The phone buzzed in his hand, and he nearly dropped it. There was no way he could have possibly gotten a response so quickly, was there? It had to be too late in the day for Gon to be on his lunch break. With his heart pounding, Killua unlocked his phone again to see one new text.

“ _ **Make sure you call him!**_ **♥♥♥** ** _”_**

Of _course_ it was Alluka. What had he been doing getting his hopes up? And he was genuinely disheartened, which was incredibly embarrassing to realize. Killua let out a huff as he started to type out a reply.

“ _ **i know don't nag me so m-”**_

Before Killua could finish the sentence, his phone vibrated again in his hands. Forcing his mouth closed, he opened the new text.

This time it _was_ Gon, Killua realized with a little jolt of elation.

A picture of the cat greeted him, eyes closed and dozing with his feet tucked under his body. He was still sitting on the clinic's counter, seeming completely unfazed. Seconds later, a text bubble popped up under it.

“ _ **He's not even sorry!**_ **Σ** **（￣□￣；）”**

For a second, all Killua could do was grin. It was somehow exactly fitting, though he hadn't been sure what to expect. Pausing to think for a moment, he began to type again.

“ _ **I think he's been forgiven already, apology or none. Definitely forgotten, though.”**_

A response came in seconds, making him blink in astonishment. Gon was an eager responder, apparently, and he was clearly as avid about emoji as Alluka was.

“ _ **That's great, at least he's not traumatized by his big scary day!**_ **(●ω●)** **ノ _”_**

“ _ **He'll live. Aren't you supposed to be at work?”**_

“ _ **Nobody to see just yet. I'm waiting on a cat to come in! She's pregnant, and that's exciting but sort of scary.”**_

“ _ **Hope she keeps the kittens in her stomach until they're done baking”**_

“ **Σ(** **゜ロ゜** **;) _Me too! That's super messy. Oh, but I guess you know about that.”_**

“ _ **Miracle of birth, absolutely disgusting”**_

Killua snorted, remembering the row of slimy little puppies that Wolf had been a part of. All of them were completely hideous at that point in time, before their mother had bathed them. Even then, Killua had known he would end up with Wolf. The tiniest little shivering lump of gunk, surrounded by other shivering lumps of gunk.

“ _ **It really is. I mean it's cool, but also really nasty! No matter what it is, when it comes out it's all slimy and gross and not very cute at all. Most of the time when you clean them up they're fine, even things like turtles and lizards, but birds stay all pink and naked for a really long time. They look like scraggly little dinosaur babies.”**_

“ _ **That's wicked.”**_

“ _ **Right?”**_

As Killua started to type a response, his phone buzzed again in his hands.

“ _ **There's my patient!**_ **(** **๑ↀ** **ᆺↀ** **๑** **)✧ _I'll text you again later, if that's okay!”_**

“ _ **Cool, good luck with the babies”**_

“ _ **Thanks!”**_

“Babies, huh,” Killua said aloud, before glancing back to the doorway to the bedroom. “Where's my baby?”

There was a loud sigh, making him grin. Killua got to his feet, padding over to crawl back into bed. Wolf's tail began to wag as soon as the puppy saw him, and he squirmed on the sheets for a moment. Grinning, Killua bent to kiss the dog's head as dramatically as he could.

“ _There's_ my baby. Hey, Wolf, turns out daddy _does_ have a chance.”

Smiling so hard it hurt his cheeks, Killua hit “Create new contact” and began to type.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to the Animal Zone
> 
> Edit: for some reason AO3 messed up some of the html when I copy-pasted. I cleaned it up but there might be a few booboos still!

_**“** **Every time I go over to her dorm it's just a disaster too, like... Yeah, i'm not a pinnacle of cleanliness and organization but it's like a clothes tornado rolls in every week”** _

The more he talked to Gon, the less he cared to correct his typing. Killua leaned into his hand, grinning a little. Probably, at the rate they were going, he'd have dropped down to his standard level of capitalization by the end of the week. He was sure the other man wouldn't care or even comment on it.

_**“** **That's so wild! I always thought girls were much cleaner. When I was growing up, until I was a teenager my room was always organized because Mito-san was sort of strict about that.”** _

_**“** **God don't let tv fool, you messiness has no gender”** _

That wasn't quite a pet peeve, but he couldn't deny that the idea of certain things being a gendered standard annoyed him. Crossing his legs, Killua reached down to pat Wolf's head. The puppy immediately started to wag his tail, even exhausted as he was from a long walk. The behind-the-ear scratches netted him a snuffling sigh, and Killua grinned as his phone buzzed in his hand. He'd stopped begging for food quickly enough, a testament to how sleepy he was.

**_“Yeah, that's true. I never really held much stock in that kind of thing. Actually, I don't think I ever knew anyone really messy before!”_ **

**_“Neither of us had to pick up after ourselves as kids. Had to scramble to learn how to do so much shit once I moved out.”_ **

Killua took a bite of salad, glad there was no one around to see the face he made. It was terrible, since he had run out of the sweet salad dressing he liked and was stuck with the cheesy mess that Alluka could drink down like water. But it was better than just eating plain salad, at the very least. He sighed, shoving another forkful in his mouth and continuing to type.

_**“Guess i'm better at it than she is. But it's always clothes at least”** _

_**“It would be pretty bad if it was dirty dishes. Clothes aren't so bad.”** _

Gon had a definite point. Killua had learned his lesson years before with candy wrappers and insects, though he couldn't admit that. Without Gotoh cleaning up after him, he'd spent several months being legitimately lost in his own mess. If not for the internet, Killua suspected he might have accidentally taken his own life mixing cleaners.

**_“Legit, I keep her in check sort of. It comes with the territory when you're an older brother”_ **

That was a bold-faced lie. Milluki had never done anything of the sort for him, and Illumi hadn't ever been much better no matter how much he claimed to be helping. Still, Killua was more than determined to make up for all the ways his own older brothers had failed.

**_“Must be nice.”_ **

Gon was an only child, it seemed. Somehow, he had figured it was the case, though he wasn't sure why. Maybe his intuition as someone who _wasn't_ an only child.

**_“No siblings huh”_ **

**_“Nope! Things are a little weird in my family, I guess.”_ **

**_“don't be fooled they're not all perfect angels like Alluka.”_ **

**_“Well you just said she was a trash tornado, so maybe you're exaggerating a little_ ( ´艸｀) _”_**

**_“Bullshit she's a saint”_ **

He typed an emoji out, looked at it for a long moment, and then erased. They were going to get him doing it too, the cute assholes. Earlier that day he'd even sent Alluka a shit when she asked what he and Wolf were up to. He'd never seen someone so delighted to receive a little pixel pile of poop.

 ** _“Still, I think it would have been nice to have someone my age to grow up with. I told you I used to live on an island, right? There was only one other kid there, and she was three years younger than me.”_** A follow-up text came as Killua was typing a response, and he nodded at it faintly. He was making decent progress on the salad at least, which meant he wouldn't have to deal with it much longer. A burger would have been way better, but the lettuce was going to go bad if he didn't shove it all in his face soon. _**“Well, I guess she still is.”**_

 ** _“You never know, time warp chambers and all. I have four siblings, it was hell. Especially because my older brothers are both way older than me, my oldest brother was -”_** Killua took a moment to do the math in his head, thinking back on it. His birthday was in July, so Illumi had been twelve and not thirteen yet when he was born. _**“like 12 when I came around, and then the other one is seven years older. It's sort of weird, like once i came along my mom just decided she wanted more and more kids, and then there was Alluka and Kalluto before i was five. Like, give it a rest woman you're gonna die”**_

**_“Σ( ゜゜ ) Is that even safe??? You're really supposed to take a long break between pregnancies!”_ **

**_“Trying to stave off menopause in advance, maybe. I don't know if being pregnant actually affects that”_ **

**_“Maybe. To be honest I don't actually know what causes menopause! It's hormonal, I know, but what actually happens not so much.”_ ** The words made Killua narrow his eyes, and he felt his forehead crease when he considered it. Did he actually know what menopause was either? It came with the end of ovulation, he thought. His mother had already started to plummet over that hill of hot flashes and even worse moodiness, making him glad to have gotten away.

**_“Actually me neither. Sex ed failed me”_ **

**_“Well, Mito-san was my teacher for stuff like that. Er… For everything actually! I feel like I came out okay.”_ **

**_“O h m y god you were homeschooled too? That's adorable.”_ **

It _was_ adorable, even if he instantly regretted the phrasing. At least the other man couldn't see how his cheeks flushed – it meant he could keep it much cooler than if they had been face to face.

Gon's mother sounded nice, so his homeschooling experience had probably been more pleasant than his own disastrous few years. Killua wondered where he could get a Mito-san of his own. Maybe he would just marry Gon to make him share.

The thought made him snort, and Wolf looked up at him sleepily. He patted the dog easily, before tugging a plain piece of lettuce out of the salad and offering it to him. Wolf didn't think twice before snuffling it down and staring up for more.

“No way,” Killua said aloud. He shouldn't have gotten Wolf's hopes up by whetting his appetite. Pursing his lips, Killua stabbed up another mouthful and brought it to his lips. “That's it, the rest is covered in all this cheesy stuff. Yeah, you would really like it, but you can't have any.”

Gon's next text came as he was chewing, and he bravely ignored Wolf pawing at his leg.

**_“Is it??? Whale Island was pretty small, there weren't enough kids for there to really be a school and Mito-san didn't want to send me off the island every day for classes.”_ **

**_“What, how far out were you?”_ **

**_“Hmmmmmmmmm. About an hour from the coast on calm days, I'm not sure how far it was in miles.”_ **

**_“Wild. You ever miss it?”_ **

**_“Lots. I mean, I'm really happy living here, but there's a lot of memories there, you know?”_ **

Killua thought back to the home he had grown up in, hundreds of miles away, and frowned. _**“I guess”**_ he typed out, resting one elbow on the table to run a hand through his hair. There was a mountain of memories there, in a strange ratio of good and bad. He scraped the last of the salad onto his fork. _**“Couldn't get away fast enough myself,**_ _ **it was stifling**_ _ **. Did i tell you the process i had to go through to get Wolf???? It was ridiculous”**_

**_“No, you didn't! Didn't you say your parents bred him? Did they not want you to have him?”_ **

**_“Absolutely not, if my mom knew i wanted the dog she would have used him as leverage to get me to move back in. I had to get someone i trusted to buy him for me, can you believe that? I mean i paid for him, but i legit had to get a middleman to buy my dog from my own fucking parents”_ **

It still annoyed the hell out of him. But he'd gotten his dog and at least for now his mother was none the wiser. Killua sighed, leaning back in his chair. The longer it took for her to find out, the better – Illumi too. He wasn't looking forward to the guilt-tripping she would try, how she would lament the fact that he “went behind her back” instead of “just asking”. At least it didn't affect him as badly these days. His mother could level her disappointment at him all day and he could finally shrug it off. It was amazing how quickly his patience had run out after everything had happened.

**_“That's crazy. I would think since your parents already owned him, they would have let you have him for less. They're not just dog breeders, right?”_ **

**_“Nah. It's my dad's hobby, i guess. Every few years we'd have a litter, the puppies got sold, i sulked for a week, the works. It was actually a coincidence that i was around when Wolf was born, guess i got lucky.”_ **

He glanced down at the dog, taking a moment to consider how much bigger he was compared to the nasty little sausage that had plopped wetly out of his mother. Wolf had at least quadrupled in size – the days of being able to hold him inside his jacket were finally over. Maybe if the puppy held still, but it would be a real challenge.

**_“Well, I'm glad you were able to get him anyway. You really seem like you love him!”_ **

**_“I mean he's sort of easy to love”_ **

It was somehow an understatement and an exaggeration all at once. Wolf definitely was easy to love, but it didn't mean he wasn't regularly a little pest. He was a bundle of joy, finally fully housebroken and becoming aware that darting after things while on the leash was a bad idea.

**_“He's really cute.”_ **

“Yes,” Killua said aloud, and Wolf looked up at him expectantly. If he'd had the ability to, Killua was embarrassingly sure he would have been keeping pictures of the puppy in his wallet. But that was simply too expensive to be worth the emotional payoff, even if it resulted in Alluka laughing.

**_“Yeah, he definitely is. Gonna be a lot less cute when i have to wrangle him into the car on Saturday”_ **

**_“Too smart to be tricked??”_ **

**_“A genius”_ **

**_“I guess I got lucky, Kon just jumps in the car when you open the door. He's sort of weird actually! Then again there's not really a “normal” for cats. His mom was pretty wild too.”_ **

**_“You own her too? Or your mom i guess?”_ **

Killua watched his phone for a moment, setting it down when no message came. Gon wasn't a slow texter, but he himself was embarrassingly fast at typing on his phone. It probably didn't help that Gon was at work, lunch break or no. He didn't have much time to hang around either, loathe as he was to change into work clothes from the comfort of jeans – red, fitted – and a black t-shirt with a cat on it that Alluka had bought for him. It was covered in fur, like many of his darker clothes were now that Wolf was around. Sighing, Killua scratched the back of his head before forcing himself to his feet and putting his empty dish into the dishwasher.

Wolf padded after him when he made his way into his bedroom, snuffling all the way as if there was some new and interesting scent on the carpet. “It's exactly the same as it was this morning, buddy,” Killua said easily, tugging his t-shirt off and tossing it into his hamper. Wolf, being a dog, had no response for him outside of another deep sniff of the floor. It wasn't as if there had been any scheduled maintenance for his apartment that day, so he knew it was just Wolf being Wolf.

The puppy knew not to follow him into the closet, as much as he clearly wanted to do so. He hadn't been exaggerating on that front – Wolf was a smart dog. It seemed uncanny how quickly he'd picked up the concept of something being off-limits, at least while he was being watched. Killua was positive that, left to his own devices, Wolf would be belly-deep in dirty clothes. He closed the door behind him – despite the limited layout of his apartment, for some reason it had a walk-in closet. He counted his blessings every day.

From the other room, he heard his phone buzz loudly against the table. Killua pursed his lips, ignoring it in favor of flicking through his collection of button-down shirts. Bisky didn't make him wear a uniform, at least – it only had to be respectable and professional. He'd worn blue the previous day, so that was right out. Killua pushed the light blue button-down aside in favor of a white one with pale green pinstripes, snagging the solid t-shirt – seafoam green, though Alluka would tease him for calling it by the correct name – and tan slacks that paired with it.

His work clothes were a magnet for Wolf's fur if he wasn't careful – something about the fabric of slacks seemed to almost suction it up. That was the major reason the closet was a no-dog zone, and it was why he kept the door closed while he was picking his clothing. Killua glanced at the puppy as he pulled the correct pair of shoes – tan suede dress shoes, a truer tan than the pale color of his slacks – from the top rack of the closet and set them on the lower one instead. The belt he plucked matched them in color, if not texture. Wolf's head whipped around to watch his pants sail to join the shirt in the hamper, and he couldn't help but laugh at that.

Was it too late to make coffee? It wasn't as if he had to leap out the door, but it also wasn't as if he was lucky enough to have a single-cup instant coffee maker. Killua rolled the sleeves of the button-down up as he considered it, before padding in his sock feet to his dresser and opening the top drawer. He wouldn't put the shoes on until he'd done everything else he needed to, as always.

Working in a jewelry store had its perks, even if he couldn't wear a large amount of the acquisitions of his employee discount to work itself. That meant Killua had to pass over the collection of pendants, beaded bracelets, and rings in favor of the line-up of watches. Tan and teal, which meant the gold watch with the bronze leather band. Owning five watches was essentially a necessity – it meant he was displaying something the store had to offer, but at the time it was professional and didn't destroy the air of availability he was paid to uphold.

Wolf made a solid attempt to nudge his leg with his nose, and Killua danced out of the way while fastening the band. “No way bud, you'll get daddy's pants all fuzzy. I know, it's a sad day.” It only netted him an intent snort, as if the puppy was trying to shame him for the grave sin of denying him attention. Killua thought in a few months, Wolf would be tall enough that he didn't have to crouch or bend almost all the way over to pat him on the head, but that wasn't quite the case yet. He scratched behind the puppy's ears, before pointing at the door. “Okay, time to go crate. You're sleepy anyway, let's go.”

They clearly weren't the words Wolf was hoping for, and he immediately sank down onto his stomach in protest. Killua closed his eyes for a moment, sighing. If he reached to snag the puppy's collar to gently tug him along, he knew Wolf would consider it playtime and bolt. “Wolf,” he said, a little more firmly this time, “Go crate.”

Wolf licked his sock sadly, before rolling over onto his back. “You are very cute and I love you,” Killua said sternly, pointing to the door again. Wolf whined at him in response, giving him the sorrowful expression of a dog who didn't want to follow directions. “And you have to go in your crate now.”

Wolf sneezed, but it was becoming clear to him that his soulful efforts were in vain. The utter dejection with which he slunk to his crate – which he absolutely loved, as long as he wasn't being _told_ to go there – made Killua certain that the dog was making a dramatic effort to guilt him into not leaving. The dog didn't understand the concept of capitalism, of course, so he couldn't explain why he really would have preferred to stay but couldn't. His hand was bathed in dog saliva when he closed and secured the door to the crate, as expected.

“Oh, my big baby. Alluka will be by to let you out before you know it and you'll lose your little doggy mind.” Wolf snuffled, turning around in a circle before settling with clear reluctance. Killua scratched his cheek with one finger, before heading back into the bedroom to recover his shoes. Coffee was, regretfully, not going to happen due to his own lack of foresight. He'd have to stop and buy something on the way.

It wasn't cool enough to need a jacket, so that was foregone. Killua snatched his wallet and keys up, patting his pockets with a frown before remembering he'd left his phone on the table. He had a message from Gon to read, at least after he washed the dog spit off his hands.

The response to his question was surprisingly brief.

**_“You own her too? Or your mom i guess?”_ **

**_“Family friend”_ **

Killua frowned at his phone. Gon was busy, if the long space between texts and lack of punctuation meant anything. He wasn't sure how to respond to it really, so he tucked his phone in his pocket and put his shoes on instead.

“Wolf, be good!” Wolf yipped at him in response. Killua snorted, locking the door behind him. It wasn't as if the dog could do anything _but_ be good, at least not until Alluka stopped by to take him out. His phone buzzed again in his pocket, and when he pulled it back out it was to another text from Gon.

**_“He was definitely for free though!”_ **

**_“'Free' you still gotta shell out the dough to buy his food and all that”_ **

**_“That's true, but Kon himself was free._ (●ↀωↀ●) _”_**

**_“If only Wolf could be so cheap. Don't you have work??”_ **

**_“Yeah, I'm waiting on someone right now! You won't believe this story. The other day, actually it was Friday, before you came in! These two guys came in with a tote, and they're both REALLY irritated. It's like 8pm and I'm the only one available, and what they've got in this tote is a snake!”_ **

****

Again, Kurapika considered the snake.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rescue him

Again, Kurapika considered the snake. It stared at him, unblinking, and he flared his nostrils in displeasure. This wasn't how he'd planned on spending his evening – not the trip to the E.R., nor this visit to the closest veterinary clinic they could find.

“You know, I really wasn't expecting this,” the veterinarian – his name was Gon, Kurapika reminded himself, and he'd asked to be called as such – said, peeling his gloves off. In the tub before him – really a tote, the first thing they'd been able to find – the snake flicked its tongue out almost hesitantly. “I'm going to be honest, okay? I hope you'll tell his owner this too. Er, oh! I don't actually know if he's a boy or not, but he's a little upset already and I don't wanna push my luck. I'd rather not stress him out more! Anyway, he's not in great shape, you know? It looks like he has a respiratory infection and mouth rot, both of which can get pretty serious. He also looks like he's had a problematic shed very recently – see, if you look he's got some dry, patchy shed still in place. Luckily it seems like he got his eye caps off, but he's probably really uncomfortable and scared!”

“… I see.”

“Told you,” Leorio said, from somewhere in the vicinity of his left elbow. He was in perfect position to _be_ elbowed, Kurapika thought. Closing his eyes, Kurapika sent a silent request to the skies for mercy. He'd known the man for all of an hour and was already ready to deck him. At least he was being mostly quiet, though he looked like a petulant child sitting in that chair.

Kurapika took a moment to dwell on the circumstances that had led up to this.

 

“Neon,” Kurapika said, more harshly than he should have but not nearly as harshly as he wanted to. The girl didn't respond to him, her face still buried in her hands as she cried. He needed Eliza desperately – of course, it would be her night off that something went wrong. “This isn't going to help anyone.”

“But it! It's my fault!” That was one-hundred-percent correct, but Kurapika held his tongue. She was going to scream again if he wasn't careful about his words – even though she was far too old to be acting this way in public. The whole thing felt uncomfortably like disarming a bomb, except the bomb was a spoiled young woman who had never been disciplined in any meaningful way in her entire life. “If I hadn't asked Papa to take him out, this wouldn't have happened!”

“That may be,” he started, before pinching the bridge of his nose. He'd left Basho to deal with the chaos back at the manor, something he regretted immensely. At the very least he knew the other man wouldn't make things worse, but Kurapika couldn't help but wonder if he was more suited to the role of attempting to calm their employer's daughter. “But going into hysterics in the mi-”

The rest of his sentence was drowned out by Neon's hiccuping, tantrum wail. Kurapika clenched his fingers and gritted his teeth, stomping down on the temptation to slap her into silence. It wouldn't work, it would get him fired, and it was _probably_ morally wrong. Once she had quieted back into relatively softer sobs, Kurapika tried again.

“The doctors said he would be fine -” That was followed by another loud sob. “- And that he can leave in a few hours once the swelling's subsid- _Neon please_.”

He could leave. He could absolutely just walk out and be done with all of the screaming and crying and the stress of standing in the E.R. at almost 8pm at night. He could stop thinking about the fact that he'd left Basho to handle the snake, that the whole company would collapse without him, all of that. He could simply leave.

“Your father is going to be fine,” Kurapika said, and he knew that his irritation was clearly audible in his voice. He really wasn't equipped for the task of actually dealing with the girl – it wasn't actually in his job description, though said job description was vague enough that sometimes she became his responsibility. “You need to calm down.”

In his pocket, his phone began to buzz frantically. It was just the excuse Kurapika needed, and he patted Neon on the head vaguely as if to tell her he would take the call and be right back. Predictably, her response was to give him an utterly betrayed look as if to shame him for even thinking of leaving her alone. He wanted to tell her she was 26 years old and needed to pull herself together. Instead, he stepped away and answered his phone.

“Kurapika, are you alright?” Kurapika felt his tense shoulders relax a little at the sound of Senritsu's voice, closing his eyes and sighing loudly enough for the receiver to pick up the sound. In that moment, and many others, she was the light of his life. If he could, he would have just buried his face in her shoulder and given up. “Oh, dear... Basho's called me, he said there was an accident?”

“Yes,” Kurapika sighed, running a hand through his hair. A doctor had approached Neon, no doubt attracted by her persistent crying, and for a moment he made eye contact with the man before pointing to Neon and himself as if to say they were – regretfully – there together. It netted him a suspicious squint, and Kurapika barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes at a stranger. “One of Neon's pets took a bite out of Mr. Nostrade, he's gone into anaphylactic shock. The doctors have informed us that he'll recover with no lasting issues, but I don't see myself getting home any time sooner than nine.”

“Oh! I see, that's terrible. Is she-”

“Utterly inconsolable, I can't get her to calm down at all.” Again, he pinched the bridge of his nose and glanced back towards Neon and the doctor. The man was almost unreasonably tall, and it made him look absurd as he crouched down to speak to Neon. “I'm sorry I didn't call, I meant to but things just… Got out of hand.”

“No, no. I don't mind.” At the very least, having Senritsu's voice in his ear helped calm his irritation. He wished he didn't have to hang up and deal with whatever would happen next. “I put your dinner away in the fridge, you can eat whenever you get home.”

“Thank you,” Kurapika said, as honestly and sincerely as he could. He was so utterly exhausted that the only thing he wanted to do was fall into bed and Senritsu's welcoming arms. “Ah, please don't stay up for me if it gets too late.”

“Mm, I guess we'll just have to see if you're really late won't we?” Despite himself, Kurapika smiled. He would have to bring something home with him, for both of their sakes. Maybe cheesecake. “But don't let me hold you up! Whatever needs to be done should be done!”

“Of course. I'll call you when I leave, if it hasn't gotten too late.”

“Yes, yes. Go do what you need to do!”

“Right. I'll see you later then.” Regretfully, Kurapika hit the “end call” button and squared his shoulders to head back over to Neon. She jumped when he put a hand on her shoulder, looking up at him with teary eyes, and all he could do was wish someone else was there to help him. She seemed like she was a little calmer at least, which could probably be attributed to the man who had been talking her down from her hysteria.

“Kurapika,” Neon started, before wiping at her nose with her sleeve. Automatically, Kurapika reached into his pockets to look for something, anything, he could shove in her hand to use instead. He had nothing. Before he could do more than look up from his suit pockets again, a voice he sorely needed to hear was ringing out across the floor of the E.R.

“Neon!”

Sighing quietly, Kurapika let himself lean against the wall. He'd been saved, somehow. It had probably been Basho, calling for whoever he could get to pick up, but all that mattered was that Eliza was dashing across the floor with her hand already in her purse to pull out a packet of tissues. Neon jumped out of her seat, throwing her arms around the other woman and burying her face in her shoulder. Relieved, Kurapika tried to show his thanks through his expression and was unsure as to whether or not he'd succeeded.

When he turned away, though, it let him see that the doctor was staring at him suspiciously – almost scowling. It was an unpleasant expression on a face that otherwise would have been much easier on the eyes, and Kurapika couldn't help but frown in return. The man was undeniably the picture of “tall, dark, and handsome” - at least six feet tall, with black hair and dark skin that looked washed-out under the unforgiving lights of the E.R. Despite the strange tint that the room gave to him, it didn't mask his strong features, and Kurapika didn't care in the slightest.

“Can I help you?” His voice was a little curt, but he was so mentally drained that it really didn't matter. Once the situation with Mr. Nostrade was dealt with, he could go home, crawl into Senritsu's bed, and just stop thinking altogether until morning. For now, though, he could only stare almost aggressively at this doctor who was giving him a dirty look.

“You with her?” Somehow, Kurapika knew there was an undertone to the question that he wasn't picking up just yet. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, considering the words. Yes, he was there with Neon. Kurapika thought he had made that reasonably clear already. Abruptly, the actual question struck him and Kurapika knew the expression on his face was incredibly distasteful.

“No.” He was sure his tone made the unspoken “ _God_ , no” perfectly clear. “Her father is my employer. I'm here for him.”

If there was a man on the planet with the patience to date Neon Nostrade, it would be a miracle. Even in his own thoughts, Kurapika knew he was being uncharitable to the girl. At the same time, she had created a terrible situation and his sympathy reserves were attempting to drop into the negatives. The doctor's irritated expression softened a little, as if he was relieved that he wasn't looking at an emotionally neglectful boyfriend.

“Right. You came in with the man having the allergic reaction, then.”

“Yes, that would be the situation.” Leaning forward a little, Kurapika squinted at the I.D. card hanging from the front pocket of the doctor's shirt. It read, in frustratingly tiny letters, Leorio Paladiknight, M.D. “I trust that nothing's happened?”

“No. I'm not the one treating him, I’m off duty. But from what I've picked up the guy's about as fine as you can get after going into anaphylactic shock. He's gonna have the hives for a while longer, but mostly... He got lucky. Mind if I ask what happened?”

“Is it medically relevant?” That brought the scowl back, and Kurapika barely held back from rolling his eyes. “His daughter owns a snake, and he was bitten on the arm. A few minutes later he fell, she screamed, and I immediately called for an ambulance.” It was a simplification, of course – there was no reason to mention the fact that Light had looked him directly in the eyes, croaked “you are in charge” and nearly cracked his skull open on the floor. Kurapika wasn't sure he really wanted to think about it – the situation had brought enough unpleasant feelings when it had actually happened.

“Did you report that it was from a snake bite?” The question came quickly and sharply, and the urge to just walk away rose in his throat like bile. Kurapika knew exactly why it was being asked, and the presumption of it was frankly obnoxious. Doctor Leorio Paladiknight didn't have any faith in his intelligence, clearly.

“Do you take me for an idiot? The snake is non-venomous.” Leorio very obviously didn't like that response. Kurapika curled his fingers into fists once more, keeping his sigh as quiet as he could manage. “My cursory research while waiting informs me that it's rare but not impossible for bites from non-venomous snakes to cause anaphylaxis, but of course I didn't keep the cause a secret.”

“Jesus you're a piece of work,” Leorio muttered, shoving his hands in the pockets of his scrubs. Based on his actions it almost seemed like he was offended, which was rich. Kurapika felt his nostrils flare, and he knew quite solidly that he was looking for a fight and he was going to get one with this man. He took a deep breath.

“ _Excuse_ me?”

“You heard me.”

“What a professional approach,” he sneered, crossing his arms over his chest and squaring his shoulders. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Eliza glance at him with something akin to resigned worry.

Kurapika wondered if what he was feeling in that moment was what suburban mothers experienced every day of their miserable lives, and if that was why they were so terrible and picked fights almost all the time. There was something almost exhilarating about it, about venting all his backed-up feelings, even if he was quite aware that it wasn't a healthy approach to things. Senritsu would scold him when she found out, and he might even expect to be barred from her bedroom to “cool down”.

“Where's your sense of respect? I'm over here trying to save lives and keeping shit calm, and you show up and get pissy with me for not liking your tone?”

The fact that the man was right was somehow wonderfully enraging. Normally, Kurapika would be ashamed of himself, he thought. “Oh, I'm so sorry, _Mr_. Paladiknight, forgive me for not getting down on my knees and kissing your feet.”

“Oh my god, what is wrong with you?”

“Would you like the _short_ list?” The sentence seemed to take Leorio aback, and for a moment he only gawked. Kurapika squared his shoulders, forcing away the stab of regret for what he'd just said. This was a stranger. The last thing he needed to do was dump his personal issues on someone who might one day use them against him. “… Because I really do not have time for this.”

Leorio's expression softened, but only barely. “Fuck's sake. Forget it. Where's the snake, did you bring it with you?”

“I did not,” Kurapika said curtly, biting back the word “obviously”. He watched Leorio's brow furrow, and barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes at it. Until that moment he'd forgotten about Neon, and Kurapika let his gaze drift over to her. Eliza was speaking quietly to her, and the girl was smiling again. That was good. “I delegated. The snake is safe, and I will be surrendering it to the state since my employer was not licensed to own it.”

Light had given him the authority to act, so he would do so. Once that was done he could wash his hands of the issue, really. It hadn't surprised Kurapika to realize that what they were dealing with was essentially an illegal pet, but it did annoy him severely. Despite being non-venomous, there were still rules and restrictions regarding ownership, and Neon didn’t have them.

“You shouldn't do that,” Leorio said immediately, and Kurapika wanted to haul back and punch him in the face. Common decency (and the fact that Leorio was almost too tall for him to strike) held him back. Despite the expression on his face, Leorio continued to speak. “You should take him to see a vet and make sure he didn't get hurt. Snakes that are sold as pets tend to be pretty docile breeds, they don't bite unless something's wrong or they feel trapped. So the-”

Kurapika pinched the bridge of his nose. Really, what he wanted the most now was just for Leorio to shut up. Fighting with him wasn't cathartic anymore. “Fine. Sure. Fantastic. I will do that.”

It was immediately obvious that Leorio didn't believe a word that had come out of his mouth.

“I'll come with you.”

“ _No_ thank you.”

“Yeah, no. How do I know you won't just turn around and throw it in a lake?”

“Do you _really-_ ” Kurapika looked up at the ceiling. It would be a disaster if he allowed it. Just thinking about getting in a car with a stranger he'd been quarreling with was something that if his mother had been around, she would have slapped him for. And she would have been right to do it. He was so tired.

 

Leorio came with him.

 

“Be. Quiet.” He let the words hiss out of his mouth as quietly as possible. Gon peered at them with a hint of concern in his expression, his eyebrows drawn together. “And a problematic shed, that would be caused by poor temperature and humidity conditions, improper feeding and bathing regimen, improper habitat, is that correct?”

“That's right,” Gon said, before pulling a dark blue blanket from one of the cabinets over the sink. Carefully, he tugged it over the top of the tote. It wasn't as if he was in striking range from the snake, Kurapika thought. He really was trying his best to not scare it. “What we're going to do is pretty simple. It's really important that we get the rest of his shed skin off, so we're gonna help him along with a warm bath. In the meantime, I'm going to call Doctor Bine to confirm some things. And then we can work out what you want to do with him!”

“Okay,” Kurapika sighed, leaning back against the wall. Gon flashed a grin at him, one that surprisingly actually made him feel a little better. He was certainly a lot more soothing of a person than Leorio had been. Pointedly, Kurapika ignored the other man. But as soon as Gon had left with the tote pressed against his hip and a distracted smile on his face, they could only sit there in silence.

Despite how obviously he was staring ahead, Kurapika knew that Leorio was looking at him and trying to put together a sentence to throw out like a lifesaver.

“So,” Leorio started, and several seconds passed before he sighed. Clearly he didn't know how to follow up the opening. Kurapika grunted in response, not turning his head. Leorio said nothing more, merely shifting uneasily in his seat. Without a word, Kurapika pulled his phone out. It was 8:57PM. He hadn't eaten dinner. He wanted to go home. He wondered if it was obvious, or if he just seemed antisocial. Maybe it was both. Maybe both were entirely accurate, at least in that moment.

They passed several minutes in that tense state, unable to do anything but wait. In his mind, Kurapika ran through things he could possibly do, say, even with how much he wanted to do nothing at all. Based on what Gon had said, the snake had a chance to recover. Was it responsible to give it back to Neon? Absolutely not. Even if he thought the scare would knock some sense into her, Kurapika couldn’t trust that it would. It was probably best to call and see about surrendering it to the state, despite Leorio’s protests. After all, he’d acquiesced in taking the animal to the veterinary clinic in the first place. Surely that would quiet the other man. Leorio was tapping his foot, and it made Kurapika want to fling him out a window.

Finally, the door on the other side of the exam room opened again, and Gon stepped back in. The tote was nowhere to be seen, but based on the expression on Gon’s face it wasn’t anything to be concerned about. He seemed a little troubled, but not “something has gone horribly wrong” levels of troubled.

“Okay,” Gon started, setting down the clipboard in his hands. Kurapika resisted the urge to immediately peer at whatever was attached to it, opting instead to meet Gon’s eyes. “Doctor Bine’s seeing to another emergency right now, or else he’d be having this talk with you right now. So, there’s a few options that we’ve sort of laid out for you. Er, his owner I guess. I can type them up if you’d like to just pass them on to his owner, since he’s not your snake!”

“I’ve been given the authority to act in his stead, so I believe I can handle this.”

“Hmm…” It didn’t seem like an answer Gon was entirely comfortable with, and Kurapika wondered if there was a legality he was missing. Based on the sigh that came out of the man, it either wasn’t the case or he was putting the well-being of the animal above the law. The latter seemed very likely, at least from that expression. “Okay. It sort of comes down to three choices here. Like I said, he’s not in very good condition. I know you mentioned planning on surrendering him to the state, and that’s one option. But it’s really important that I tell you what that entails, in a minute at least. We can treat him. It won’t be super cheap and we can’t guarantee that he’ll make a full recovery. Which brings me to surrendering him to the state. If you do that I _can_ guarantee something, and that is that they will not spend the money to treat him and they will euthanize him.”

It was like a slap in the face, and Kurapika couldn’t believe that it hadn’t even occurred to him that it would be the case. He didn’t know why – of course the snake would be put down. For a sick animal, what he’d strongly considered, even planned to do, was a death sentence. No wonder Leorio had been so angry with him.

Kurapika couldn’t help but glance briefly at the other man, whose expression suddenly softened. Leorio had abruptly realized that he’d been completely ignorant of the certain consequences of what he’d intended to do, and was regretting his earlier harshness. It was unbelievably flustering, and he turned his attention back to Gon.

“And,” he started, before clearing his throat and giving away how utterly disconcerted he was, “The third option, would be?”

“The third option is that we euthanize him here. The only difference there is that we can guarantee that it’ll be done in a humane manner if we’re the ones to do it.” Gon’s unhappiness was almost palpable, and he seemed more like a sad child than an adult practicing veterinary medicine. “I’m not supposed to do anything that would influence your decision, Mr. Kurta-”

“Kurapika is fine,” Kurapika murmured, bringing a hand to his chin as he thought. There was only one actual option, he knew. It wasn’t the pragmatic option, certainly not practical. But there was no way he could do anything else. There was a right thing to do.

“Kurapika, then! Like I said, I can give you advice if you ask for it but I’m not allowed to make your decision for you.”

“… Then, in that case… Would it be... _kinder,_ if the snake was euthanized?”

For a moment Gon only stared at him, almost as if he didn’t understand the question. Then his mind seemed to clear, and he shook his head. “No, no. I-I mean, we can’t guarantee anything, but everything he has is treatable. We’d have to do some bacterial cultures and x-rays to figure out the underlying causes of his symptoms, but it seems pretty solidly to be issues with husbandry. Given that he was able to strike in the first place, that’s actually a pretty good sign! It means the mouth rot is probably not a result of a broken bone or anything like that.”

“I see. In that case, then... Whatever you recommend is what I would like to do. Cost is not a limiting factor, anything you consider necessary or helpful is fine.” Leorio made an odd grunting sound, and Kurapika ignored it. It wasn’t as if he could bankrupt Light Nostrade, so he would shell out whatever money was necessary in order to undo as much of the damage Neon had done as was physically possible.

The response made Gon beam, and for the first time that evening there was no apprehension in his smile. “Great! Gosh, that’s really cool. Okay, in that case, let me just outline what we’re going to do right away...”

Most of the explanation washed over him in a wave of unfamiliar terminology, but in the end Kurapika felt like he understood enough of it. Gon was perceptive enough to sum things up in layman’s terms after the more technical explanations, at the very least. X-rays and bacterial cultures, cytology tests, whatever a pulmonary wash entailed. He had no idea. At that point, Kurapika thought that he probably would have given Gon the okay to put the snake in a washing machine if he told him it would help. Knowing that it wasn’t his money, and also being very tired, made it easy to sign off on a laundry list of tests despite the growing cost of them.

“And then that’s basically everything we’ll need to do. Do you have any questions about anything?”

“You said something about mites. That’d be something still living in the enclosure, correct?”

“Well, probably. They’re pretty small, they can hang out in a lot of places. There’s probably a bunch hiding in whatever substrate you’re – er, the owner, is using. Was he living in a tank?”

“Yes. I can’t say I know much about the living conditions that… he, was in. But a glass tank, yes.”

“Hmmm.” Gon tapped his cheek, clearly thinking about it. “I can give you guys some tips for how to clean it out, safely sanitize everything in there with stuff that’s not going to hurt or kill the little guy. My advice is, while he’s here for treatment, that’s the best time to completely clean his tank out, get all the bad stuff out and safe stuff in. Mito-s- one of my coworkers getting a temporary tank put together for him right now, so he’ll have something nice and clean to live in while he’s being treated. I mean, you could take him back home and bring him in for treatment, but I-”

“Don’t recommend that. I understand. I imagine it’d be more inconvenient to do that, for everyone involved.” Kurapika crossed his arms over his chest, frowning in thought. It just wasn’t feasible, and either way it would probably just stress the animal out more. That was the last thing he needed – to set aside the time to bring a sick snake to the vet and back every day, and have it die from the strain of being brought back and forth from new locations every day. “That’s more than acceptable, it seems to be the wisest choice.”

“Yeah, I think so too!” Gon grinned at him again, before leaning over to write something down on the clipboard. He had fairly neat handwriting, especially for someone practicing medicine. Somehow, Kurapika was sure that Leorio’s handwriting was a disaster that was an insult to the word “chickenscratch”.

Leorio hadn’t said anything in a very long time, Kurapika noted. When he glanced over, he realized with some puzzlement that Leorio was genuinely staring at him, like a scene out of a cartoon. His lips were parted and everything, and when their eyes briefly met he flushed a dark red. Embarrassed at being caught, clearly. Kurapika thought he must have done something to warrant the stare given how utterly dumbfounded it had been, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was. He turned his attention back to Gon, with neither of them having spoken.

Somehow, Gon’s expression looked even brighter than it had before. Kurapika wasn’t sure if it was just about the snake, but he was too tired to follow that line of thought. “… Is there anything else I should be aware of?”

“Ah, let me think… Other than signing a few forms, not really. I can grab them for you in just a second, and I can help with any questions you have about them. So right here,” Gon pointed to the paper attached to the clipboard, and Kurapika turned his attention to it again, “What I’ve done is listed the basics of what we’re gonna do, and then I’m just gonna write down some instructions for cleaning out his tank and getting it set up again. Aaand…”

For a moment all Gon did was write, his forehead creasing as he scribbled out a list of supplies. It was a somewhat daunting list, really, from the sheer length of it. Especially given that Kurapika suspected Neon only had half of what was on it at best. He supposed that didn’t really matter. If the snake was safe and sound at the vet, there wasn’t a huge rush to cobble together safe living conditions.

Kurapika rubbed the back of his neck, rolling his shoulder back and sighing as quietly as he could. He would have to make at least one phone call that he wasn’t keen on making. But if it meant getting chewed out, that was what it meant.

Gon hummed as he ripped the sheet from the clipboard and handed it to him. “That’s basically everything, I think! If you have any questions, I put my number down right there, or you can call the clinic. And then, we’ll give you a call if anything weird happens too. Unless you’d like to give your employer’s number instead, I guess!”

It seemed like Gon already knew that he wouldn’t offer it, and he only nodded in response to hearing it. Kurapika wondered how obvious the decision he’d made was, whether or not he’d have to speak it aloud and confront it. Kurapika resisted the impulse to chew on his lower lip as he ran through the list in his hand.

“Sorry, I know it’s a lot,” Gon laughed, planting his hands on the exam table and leaning against it. He seemed so strangely young when he did that, like a teenager in an adult’s body. Kurapika forced the thought away, shaking his head in response to the words.

“No, it’s fine. You were thorough, and I appreciate that.”

“Well, that’s good. Anyway, if you don’t have any other questions you can head out, Mito-san will take it from there. Er, the receptionist I mean! She’ll get you guys all checked out, schedule a time to check in on him, all that.” Gon glanced between him and Kurapika, with an expression on his face that Kurapika couldn’t quite place. It seemed familiar, but he hadn’t the slightest idea why. There were some questions that just didn’t have answers. “I’ll meet you out there with the paperwork, if that’s okay!”

“Great,” Kurapika sighed, and Gon’s responding grin was a little sympathetic. It was a late night for everyone involved. He wondered if Gon was doing a fantastic job of hiding exhaustion, or if he just had the energy levels of a toddler on a sugar high. Maybe Gon legitimately was that chipper of a person – it was a little admirable if that was the case. He even waved as he stepped out of the room again, still beaming, and then he was alone with the oddly-silent Leorio once more.

“… You didn’t know,” Leorio said finally, and Kurapika felt his cheeks flush as he forced himself to face the other man. He knew exactly what Leorio meant, and he was sure Leorio knew as well, but he continued anyway. “The snake. You didn’t realize they’d euthanize it if you reported it.”

“… No. It was… stupid, of me. In hindsight it seems obvious. I should have known better.”

“Well, I mean. I was too pissed to realize, I… I shouldn’t have been such an asshole to you. I just assumed you knew and didn’t care, and that was unfair. And, even before that, I was out of line. I thought I knew what was going on and I was wrong, _and_ it was none of my business in the first place.” Leorio stood, almost seeming to unfold – god, how was he so tall? - and gave him a sheepish look. He was embarrassed at the oversight, as much as Kurapika was about his own. “I’m sorry, man.”

“… so am I. I was incredibly rude, it was unwarranted in every way. You were just doing your job.” Kurapika sighed, rubbing at his arm. Leorio’s expression was doing a remarkable acrobatic routine, flipping back and forth from embarrassment and relief at the situation being resolved. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his scrubs, as if he didn’t know what to do with them suddenly. “The evening has been… less than ideal, but that’s no excuse for my behavior. I hope you can accept my sincere apology, Doctor Paladiknight.”

“Er… Call me Leorio, maybe. Feels weird to hear you call me that. So, Leorio is good.”

“Leorio, then.” With a jolt of embarrassment, Kurapika realized he hadn’t ever introduced himself to the other man. At this point, though, he knew that Leorio knew his name. He’d said it to Gon, he’d written it down on paperwork… Still, it was an unbelievable oversight. “It’s fine if you call me Kurapika as well.”

“Right. Kurapika. Right.” Leorio pulled one of his hands back out, offering it to him almost bashfully. He had a firm handshake, which was a stupid thing to notice. Still, Kurapika was a little glad that the obnoxious tension was gone now. “Look, if it’s not too much to ask…” Leorio looked around the tiny exam room for a moment, before his gaze fixed on the pen that Gon had been using and left behind. “Can I see that for a sec?” Kurapika squinted at him in confusion as he held his hand out almost expectantly, before realizing Leorio was asking for the paper in his hand. Even watching him write down digits, it took him an astoundingly embarrassing amount of time to figure out that Leorio was adding his phone number under Gon’s.

Leorio did not, in fact, have hideous chickenscratch handwriting. Speaking charitably, it could be called “quite legible”. But it _was_ legible, and that was all that was really necessary. It just looked strange under Gon’s neat, bubbly letters.

“If you don’t mind, keep me posted on the snake. That’s my personal, can’t always pick up. But if you wanna shoot me a text and tell me how the little guy’s doing, I’d… like that. Or, I guess. If you need help with him, maybe.” Leorio sighed, running a hand through his hair. He was trying to get something across that Kurapika wasn’t sure he was grasping, and Leorio seemed to know the message wasn’t getting through as well. “I feel bad, okay? I picked a fight with you in the E.R. like a complete ass, and pushed you into a situation where you had to slap down thousands of dollars in the name of doing the right thing. Even if you’re well-off financially, it’s no walk in the park to do what you just did.”

“It’s not my money,” Kurapika said abruptly, before pressing his hand over his mouth to stifle his laugh. He wondered what false impression Leorio had gotten about the whole event, if he actually wanted to correct it. It really was funny in a way. “God, I apologize. My employer’s daughter is the reason why the snake needs treatment, and I was given his express permission to act in his place while he’s unable to do so. I think it’s only fair that his bank account foots the bill – god, the man won’t even notice it’s gone.”

That seemed to fluster Leorio even more, and his cheeks heated. “E-er… well, the offer still stands I guess. If nothing else, I’d like to know how he does. The snake, I mean. Even with a mouth full of pus, he was kinda cute.”

“I’ll be sure to keep you updated. Oh, I’m probably keeping the receptionist. If you’d like, once I’ve finished up there I can drive you back to the hospital, or pay for a cab.”

“I’m a big boy,” Leorio said, a wild understatement, “I can wait. Unless, er. I mean, if it’s easier.”

“Well, I pulled you out here in the first place,” Kurapika started, graciously ignoring the fact that Leorio had insisted on coming along. “I have to head back to the hospital anyway, so it’s not out of my way.”

“If you say so.”

It seemed like both of them were keen on putting the circumstances of their previous poor behavior behind them, and Kurapika gave as casual of a smile as he could manage as they made their way back to the counter to speak with the receptionist. She beamed at him, despite it being closer to 10pm than 8. True to Gon’s word, there were several forms sitting at her elbow, and Kurapika resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose as he took them from her. Now that he was looking at her again, he noted that she looked quite a bit like Gon. A cousin, maybe, or maybe an aunt. The badge on her shirt read “Mito Freecss”, confirming that there was a relation.

“I’m so sorry,” he said as Mito handed him a pen. “I’m sure we’re keeping you from getting home.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble,” she replied easily, and Kurapika was certain that it was a very good customer service face. He didn’t push the issue, choosing instead to flip through and sign the forms in front of him.

Gon had added something to the stack that proved the man had understood his intentions, even if he hadn’t actually said them aloud. It reminded Kurapika of the conversation he would have to have, and sooner was better than later.

Somewhere behind him, a loud beeping noise made him jump. Leorio swore abruptly, and when Kurapika turned to look at him with raised eyebrows the man was pulling a real and genuine pager out of the pocket of his scrubs. A pager. It had been a decade since he’d last laid eyes on one of those chunks of plastic. For a moment he couldn’t believe what he was looking at, but the sudden discomforting expression on Leorio’s face snapped him out of his technology-based reverie.

“I’m gonna pass on the free ride,” he said quietly, shoving the little plastic rectangle back in his pocket. “Got an emergency to deal with. Just deal with your forms, and, you know, have a good night.”

For a moment Kurapika didn’t know what to say, and he was certain that the look on his face was unbelievably foolish. “But I-”

“Don’t worry about it, man!” Leorio was already pulling his phone out of a different pocket, and Kurapika wondered just how many pockets he had. “If you really wanna do something, just text me and tell me how the snake’s doing.”

“I – right. Er, good luck?” What else could he say? Kurapika didn’t know. All he could do was force himself to close his mouth as Leorio dashed off through the front door of the clinic – what was he going to do, hope to hail a conveniently-placed cab? - and vanished into the night. He wasn’t sure what he’d just witnessed or if it had really happened. “I… oh my god. Okay.”

Mito was biting her lower lip, as if she was trying not to laugh at his flabbergasted expression. It made Kurapika horribly self-conscious for a moment, but he forced himself through it and returned to the remaining paperwork with as much grace as he could muster up. After that it was just a matter of handing the woman his credit card and running through what to say that would adequately convey his remorse towards his own decisions.

When he was sitting in his car and Senritsu answered his call, Kurapika still was flailing uselessly in his own mind.

“Kurapika?”

“Er, I. Senritsu, I may have done something… unwise.”

Through the receiver, he heard Senritsu take a deep breath. She was already preparing to dissect his actions and probably forgive him in advance, because she was essentially a saint in human form. “Well, you might as well tell me. Did you quit your job, or are we talking about another unwise decision you’ve been thinking about making? Or is it something new entirely?”

“The latter,” Kurapika sighed, trying not to thump his head against the steering wheel. “It is distinctly possible that I have just filled out the paperwork for, ah…”

Senritsu said nothing, and he knew she wouldn’t help lead him through his next sentence. It was honestly a shame. If only he could be so lucky. Kurapika hoped his voice made it quite clear that he wasn’t really proud of himself.

“I may or may not have adopted the snake."

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back! And back to Killua.

“You've been staring at your phone all day,” Bisky said, a firm scowl on her face. Killua glanced up – from his phone – and squinted at her before shoving it in his pants' pocket. It was his standard work clothes. Blue jeans and a pale blue button down with darker blue vertical pinstripes – today was a blue day. “That's better. What am I paying you for if all you do is sit around?”

“You actually pay me just to sit around,” Killua snorted, propping his chin in one hand. Standing over a counter all day was a pain in the ass, especially since it wasn't anywhere near a holiday rush. Still, she was right. Despite everything, he _was_ on the clock. “All I gotta do is look pretty, that's what you said. _Gosh_ , it's a struggle.”

“I _certainly_ don't pay you for that smart mouth.” This time it was more joking, but she pinched his cheek nonetheless. It hurt like hell, and Killua grimaced at her. Bisky could be brutal when she wanted to be, and even her teasing was a pain in the ass. She may have been small, with a slim and almost childish body, but her tiny fingers could be mind-bogglingly painful. For a petite woman who was pushing sixty – even if she looked like she had found the secret to eternal life – she was uncomfortably intimidating. “... there isn't something wrong, is there?”

It took a moment for the words to register in his mind. Blinking in confusion, Killua realized his mouth was open. “ _What_? No. Why would you think that?”

“Because you aren't normally glued to your phone unless you're playing that stupid game. It's normally the tablet.” The expression on Bisky's face had turned to something genuinely concerned, he realized with some surprise. It was something like the face his mother had used to make all the time, the one he hated. Coming from Bisky, though, it didn't fill him with the same feeling of dread. “You know, I may be your boss, but if something's going on, don't hesitate.”

“Thanks, mom. But I'm good. Just...” Killua moved to cover his mouth with the hand his chin had been in, trying to keep his expression calm and collected. In his pocket, the phone buzzed loudly. Killua felt his cheeks heat a little. “Talking to someone.”

It had been way too obvious, he realized when Bisky's face lit up. Her eyes seemed to sparkle, even through the colored contacts she wore to give her brown irises the faintest tint of pink. She always wore pink in some degree, not just her eyes. Today it was another doll-like dress, a pink frock with a knee-length skirt over petticoats. Sleeveless, with a jewel neckline, and patterned delicately with deep pink lace. Her hair was up in pigtails, tied with matching pink ribbons. It was too warm out to wear the mantles she loved, or else Killua was certain she would have gone all-out.

He wondered where she got the petticoats, really. She almost always seemed to be wearing them, no matter how hot the weather was. It should have looked ridiculous, but the dresses suited Bisky. They were just subdued enough to not be that strange, though sometimes they drew stares.

“ _Oh_ , I _see_. Dating on the clock? That's definitely not what I pay you for. How am I supposed to market you to those impressionable girls if you're not available?”

“Jesus, Bisky,” Killua mumbled against his hand, genuinely blushing now. He'd said more than he should have, and now she would never stop teasing him. Even worse, she probably knew Gon enough to recognize his name – it was her veterinary clinic too, after all. “Can we drop it? Just someone I met recently who I think is sorta cool. Alluka's already giving me enough shit trying to force me into matchmaking. Like I'm not allowed to have friends.”

Like he was trying to be _friends_ with Gon.

“Oh, please. If your little sister is pushing you, it means she thinks you like this person. What do we have this time, a man, or...?”

“None of your business.” Killua barely resisted the temptation to roll his eyes. It was no secret that he was more interested in men, at least to the people he knew. That didn't keep him from doing his job, really – ostensibly serving as a cashier, but really just bait. Bisky didn't even pretend otherwise, at least when they had no customers.

It worked uncannily well, really, though he felt bad about it sometimes. Then again, if the girls lured in by his looks actually were fooled into buying jewelry to impress a stranger with a pretty face, it was probably their own problem. It _was_ terrible, admittedly.

But there wasn't any justice, only retail.

“Sure, sure.” Bisky waved a hand as if shooing the topic away. Killua sighed quietly, scratching the back of his neck. She had boundaries – he was an employee, as friendly as they were. “By the way, can you work Saturday?”

“Nah, Wolf's got a vet appointment for more jabs,” Killua said casually, and this time his attempt to stay cool was a success. Bisky hummed in disappointment, tapping a finger to her cheek. Before she could say anything else, Killua coughed quietly into his hand and her eyes narrowed.

“She's there, isn't she,” Bisky murmured, not turning around to face the store front. Killua nodded, keeping his expression carefully blank. He wondered if the woman would come in this time, or if it would be another twenty minutes of sorrowful window-gazing. The uniform she wore told him she worked somewhere else nearby, one of the other stores that littered the shopping center. But it was a relaxed enough uniform that it could have been any store, just a pale pink t-shirt and jeans that she wore a heavy black jacket over. They made her look even skinnier than she was, really. She usually had her name tag on her chest, even off the clock.

Palm Sibera. She always looked like she was about to fall over.

“Man, I just want to tell her to take a nap,” Killua said, before straightening his back again and putting on his best fake smile. Some part of his soul felt like it was dying, the way it always did. By this time of day, he wanted to just walk into the back room and drown himself in the sink. Selling accessories wasn't how he wanted to live his life.

There were lots of things he knew he didn't want to do, Killua reflected. It would have been nice if it was that easy to know what he _did_ want, or at least to find something that was fulfilling rather than soul-sucking.

Across the floor of the shop, Palm peered mournfully in through the window. She looked as awful as ever, Killua noted, like she hadn't slept in days and was living off of coffee. It was the only thing he had ever seen her consume, after all. There were deep circles under her eyes, shadowed further by her dark, scraggly hair. Killua couldn't help feeling bad for her. She had the aura of someone who had been devastated by college and might never recover from it. He thought he could understand the sentiment.

At the same time, she showed up every few days and just looked at things without making a purchase. She had never stepped foot in the store, just looking in. The time she spent lurking could have been better applied to a power nap, really, but something in her expression said that it was something she needed in a way. Like a reminder of what she was working so hard for.

“I'm gonna go,” Killua muttered, and Bisky nodded sagely. They'd discussed it before, the last time the woman had come around. So it was time for him to follow through, though he would have to make a Herculean effort to keep the pity off his face. Taking a deep breath, Killua tucked one hand in his pocket and let the other hang free – the false relaxed posture he always defaulted to when courting a customer. It was reassuring, maybe. There was some sort of psychological reasoning for it, but all he knew was that it worked. He stepped away from the counter, keeping his footsteps light and his face calm but cheerful.

Sometimes Killua felt that retail workers were the best and most-stressed actors in the world.

“Hi, Palm. Can I help you with something?”

“Oh,” she said quietly, bringing a hand up to one gaunt cheek. It made one of her jacket sleeves slip down her arm to reveal a splash of color, and Killua kept his gaze fixed on her face instead of looking down. “Killua, isn't it. No, I'm just looking again, like always. You know I can't afford anything here, of course. It's very kind of you to ask, though.”

“Well, I also know there's not anything here you actually want. We might have something come in that you would like, though.”

“No, no. It's not that I don't want them, they're lovely.” Her voice was so raspy and grim that it was almost surreal. It really felt like talking to a zombie. Killua took in a quiet gasp as his phone buzzed against him, almost jumping out of his skin at the sudden vibration. Palm didn't seem to notice, so wrapped up in her own words. “But you know that nothing suits a person like me.”

God, she was so pessimistic though. Killua ran his thumb over the edge of his phone, wondering what Gon had to say to him. It vibrated again, and he couldn't keep the frown off his face. Three texts. That was a little concerning. Maybe someone else had texted him, though.

“You know,” Killua started, before sighing and scratching the back of his neck with one hand. Palm gave him a look that seemed a little confused and apprehensive. A muscle in her cheek was twitching ever-so-slightly. “Forget it. You know you can come back any time if you change your mind.”

“Well, you see...” It seemed like the introduction to another rambling tangent, and Killua felt a pang of fear stab his chest. He couldn't get trapped in another one of Palm's rants about her former professor, his soul couldn't take it. She was a nice woman under all that baggage, but he wasn't strong enough to be her therapist. Glancing behind him, Killua shot Bisky an imploring look. “My teacher told me...”

“Killua, I need you to help me with something in the back,” Bisky called, and Killua let out his held breath. She'd understood enough to bail him out. Killua gave Palm as apologetic a grin as he could muster, knowing it was a pretty good act. Especially for someone as distracted as Palm could be.

It wasn't all fake, after all. He did feel bad. He wished talking to Palm wasn't so draining – they probably could have been friends.

“Sorry, boss calls,” he said, shrugging casually. “Maybe another time, you know? If you wanna buy something, we're not going anywhere. Anyway, I should go. She probably needs me to get something off a shelf or something like that.”

“Oh, I see.” It seemed like Palm knew what he was doing, and it hurt a little. But he couldn't spend his whole life listening to her and getting involved in her problems. That was what Killua told himself as he turned away. It wasn't fair, sure, but not much was. Maybe someday she would find someone who could be there. That couldn't be his responsibility. He had enough problems. “Well, have a nice day.”

“Yeah, you too.” Killua waved over his shoulder, before shoving both hands back into his pockets. He swiped his thumb over his phone again, stomping down on the impulse to pull it out and check his messages. It wasn't like he was fifteen anymore, he couldn't be acting like a teenager with a new crush. “Hey, Bisky! What do you need?”

“Come back here!”

Killua let the door close behind him after glancing back towards the entrance to the store. Palm had left, leaving things quiet and empty. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. “Thanks. I always think I'm super mentally strong and then God jumps off a cloud to point and laugh at me for being a confident idiot.”

“You looked uncomfortable,” Bisky admitted, putting one hand on her hip. Her eyebrows furrowed, and she bit her lip a little. “She's a stranger, so don't get so worked up about it.”

“Yeah, like it's that easy.”

“I know. But we can't go through life getting trapped in other peoples' problems. You have to learn how to disengage, even if it hurts.”

“Thanks for the life advice. What'll you do next, adopt me?”

Bisky narrowed her eyes, but they seemed soft beneath her long, mascara-coated lashes. Now she had both hands on her hips, her legs spread apart in that way that made him think she was about to spring forward and grab him in a sleeper hold to choke him out. “I adopted your dog for a little bit, didn't I? I might as well take the whole package, Alluka too.”

“Ha.” As sarcastically as he said it, the thought made him a little happy. Alluka and Bisky got along fantastically, like a mother and daughter should have. Bisky actually cared, after all – helping Alluka with her hair, teaching her how to do eyeliner and tips for shaving her legs without getting razor burn, things he couldn't do. Being a woman in her life who cared about her. It was better than their real mother.

“Anyway, get back behind that counter. You know what I pay you for.”

“Being beautiful is a curse.” Despite the words, Killua stepped back out into the shop with Bisky following behind him, almost shooing him forward. He rolled his eyes, safe in knowing that she couldn't see him doing it. “Sometimes it feels like I'm being pimped out by my grandmother.”

“ _What_ was that?”

“Killua being a cheeky fuck,” Killua snorted, waiting for that light smack to the back of his head. It came seconds later, knocking him forward a little but making him smile at the same time. “Okay, Jesus, I'm going.”

The store front was still empty, giving Killua the chance to sneak his phone back out of his pocket to glance at it. Three messages. Two from Alluka, one from Gon.

**_“So I talked with my professor and he said that writing about kabuki was fine!!”_ **

_**“Thanks for your help, onii-chan”** _

He quickly tapped out a response, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Bisky wasn't breathing down his neck. She was in class, Killua knew, but that didn't mean he couldn't respond to Alluka's texts for when she could check them.

_**“cool. tell me if you need books or anything, i still have shit from when i took the course. don't forget to come over tomorrow too i still gotta jab you”** _

Then it was only a matter of checking what Gon had sent him. The message was longer than he expected it to be, given the fact that they'd previously been talking about skateboarding and careless childhood injuries. As it turned out, Gon had been a master of breaking bones as a kid, even more than Killua had been. It wasn't surprising at all. From the conversations they'd been having for the past three days, he'd already gotten the solid impression that Gon was reckless as hell. It must have been way worse when he was a child.

Under the words _**“That time was one of the worst since my brother doesn't know how to let something go. And he was huge even back then so it was like 150lbs of jerkass and my poor innocent body had no chance”**_ was a surprisingly nervous message.

_**“Hey, um, Killua... About the other day. I was kind of worried that I was, you know. Too forward. Sometimes I can be really blunt! And, for some reason, it felt like I'd known you for a really long time? But it was super inappropriate, especially since I was on the clock and especially because you were a patient. So I'm really sorry about that, it was unprofessional.”** _

Killua narrowed his eyes, lifting one hand to press his knuckles against his mouth. It seemed right, though he wasn't sure why. Carefully, he considered his response. He didn't want to seem too eager, but if he wasn't smart about it he might make Gon think he wasn't interested.

_**“It's cool. Don't beat yourself up about it. I texted you didn't i? So obviously i’m not mad or offended or some shit. People always go nuts for a pretty face, and i have one.”** _

Maybe that was too cocky.

_**“Still! It wasn't right of me. Even if I thought, you know, that you were sort of... Receptive.”** _

That reply came immediately, and he considered it for a long moment. The tone seemed just innocent enough that he didn't know if it was innuendo. That had been a problem from the start, though. He never knew if Gon was hitting on him aggressively or if he was just misinterpreting the other man's words. But the confirmation that Gon had absolutely, one-hundred percent been flirting with him while on the job was a little emboldening.

**_“You calling me a bottom, Mr. Freecss?”_ **

There was an incredibly long pause between messages, and somehow he knew it was because the other man was laughing and not because Killua had gone too far. He could imagine it easily, Gon's face breaking out into a grin as he laughed. It was undeniable that there had been some sort of immediate chemistry between them, romantic or not.

**_“Nope. Are you?”_ **

That made him snort quietly, thankfully not blushing. Despite the apology, the other man had gone right back to ambiguously propositioning him. Killua got the feeling that it was also genuine curiosity. Gon asked questions, after all. He actually wanted to know things. It was something Killua hadn't expected, especially considering his scattered trail of one-night stands. They never wanted to know more than they needed to for him to be between their legs.

**_“Gotta work to find out”_ **

**_“I'll take the job, when do I start?”_ **

Killua put his head in his hands, taking a shuddering breath to keep from bursting into laughter. Gon was a real piece of work, he was coming to realize, and it was exciting. Even through text, neither of them were missing a beat.

**_“I'll need you to submit what times you have free to the receptionist to schedule your hours.”_ **

**_“Lunch Sunday?”_ **

**_“Deal”_ **

That was that, then. Killua slid his phone back in his pocket, and went back to work.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little warning if you're squeamish or phobic, this chapter 100% has an injection scene and it's not glossed over! I don't wanna just spring it on you guys without warning since that kind of thing can be jarring. Anyway, welcome back to the fanfiction, I will be your guide.

“Onii-chan,” Alluka mumbled, pressing her forehead against his arm. Killua clicked his tongue, brushing her hair back with one hand. Truth be told, as always he was just as reluctant. “I don't wanna.”

“Yeah,” he replied, patting her head fondly. Neither of them wanted to do what he was going to do, and Killua forced away the jittery anxiety that came like clockwork. His chest and throat felt tight, and his stomach was rolling already. Wolf was safely contained in his crate, and thankfully fast asleep. Alluka had spent hours with him, tiring him out so that he would be calm and placid when they needed him to be. “We paid good money for this, so you better be a big kid and show me your butt.”

If not for his paycheck supplementing hers, there would have been no way Alluka could afford the estradiol that was always tucked away safely in his fridge. She was too scared to keep it in the mini-fridge that sat in her dormitory, even though she trusted her roommate. Now, though, it was sitting on the counter to warm up, and Killua couldn't rip his eyes from the syringe next to it.

“Mm... Okay. Okay! It was fine last time, it was fine the time before that.” Balling her fingers up into fists, Alluka pulled away from him. Her face was too pale, but her eyebrows had drawn together and her eyes were determined. Killua knew she absolutely hated it, way more than he did, and so he had to pull himself together too.

“Yeah, there's my girl.” Still, Alluka didn't watch him as he unscrewed the cap and wiped the top of the bottle. The sharp scent of the alcohol pad made him scrunch his nose up. Uncapping the needle was far worse, and Killua gripped it tightly to keep his hands still. Running over the steps in his mind kept him calmer, letting him focus on the mechanical aspects and not what he was doing.

Pull the plunger back for the right dose, insert it into the bottle. Push the air out, and then pull the plunger again. Draw the liquid back, remove the needle. Tap the side of the syringe to force the remaining air bubbles to rise to the top. Killua swallowed hard as he re-capped the needle and closed the bottle again.

“Alluka,” he said regretfully, and she let out a mournful noise. She was shaking worse than he was, even with her phone in her hands as an attempted distraction. But not another peep came out of Alluka as she turned her back to him and tugged the waistband of her sweatpants down. At least that part was okay now – he was glad that they weren't scared _and_ embarrassed by Alluka's hormone injections anymore. Seeing his sister's bare ass didn't faze him, even as he wiped the spot where he'd be inserting the needle with a fresh alcohol wipe. It made her jump – her nerves were bad this time. Biting his lip, Killua uncapped the syringe again. Alluka needed a distraction. “Hey, when I went to the store earlier they had cotton candy ice cream.”

“Yeah?” His hands were steadier now, and Killua hummed in response. She let out a low whine as the needle went in, but thankfully didn't jerk at all. When he pulled it back slightly no blood floated into the syringe, clearing him to push the plunger. In his crate, Wolf clambered to his feet quickly. Even the dog hated it, though he didn't understand what was happening to make his favorite person upset.

“I bought it, obviously,” Killua said as he removed the needle and capped it immediately. Alluka shuddered, not moving an inch. Even though it was over – at least for another month – she would need a while before she could calm down again. He dropped the needle into the bag again, and then dropped that bag into a second bag. The double-bagging wasn't necessary, but it made him feel better anyway. That would be brought to be disposed of properly the next day before he went to work. “You wanna try it? I haven't had any either, it must be brand new or else I would have snatched that shit up already.”

“Mhm,” Alluka said, finally pulling her pants back up with still-trembling hands. When she turned to face him again her eyes were swimming with tears, and Killua sighed as he tugged her close for a hug. It was better if she let it out of course, but he still hated the nights where his sister cried in his arms. In the other room, Wolf had started to pant anxiously. “I wish I wasn't such a big chicken about this!”

“I know. But you got through it just fine, so it's okay. I'll dish you some ice cream, we'll see if it's any good. Go lay down on the couch, okay? You can let Wolf out too, he wants to give you kisses.” Alluka sniffled, nodding against him before padding out into the den. No matter how many times he tried to tell himself it wasn't a big deal, it always got his blood pressure spiking. As time went on and they both got used to it, surely it would be better. It had already gotten better. Forcing it out of his mind, Killua pulled two bowls from the cabinet next to the stove and set them down on the counter. The bottle of hormones went back in the fridge, safe and sound. “You wanna try a little bit first and see if you like it?”

“No way,” Alluka said, and there was a little _shunk_ as she unlocked and opened the crate. Wolf bounded out immediately, letting out a high whine. Even without looking, Killua knew he was circling around Alluka's feet as she walked and almost tripping her up. “I want a big bowl.”

Alluka would spend the night with him, the way she always did when she had to get a shot or was having a rough time. Killua chewed on his lower lip as he dished the ice cream out easily. It was still a little soft from the trip from the store, so it didn't take long before he had two bowls of the bright pink and blue catastrophe. The ice cream smelled like pure sugar, and he was utterly delighted.

“Okay, here you...” She had calmed down, thankfully, with Wolf in her lap giving a solid effort to lick her chin. Clearly that would be a problem. Even though unlike his bed the dog was allowed on the couch, he would still be a pain trying to stick his muzzle in Alluka's dish. “Wolf, you gotta get down. That's Alluka's ice cream, it's not for puppies.”

“Sorry baby,” Alluka cooed, leaning to kiss his nose before picking him up and setting him next to her. It utterly confused the puppy, but after two failed attempts to get back in her lap he seemed to get the message. Once that had happened, Killua felt safe in giving her the bowl. “I wonder if Wolf can get a sugar high.”

“Maybe. It's definitely got loads of sugar in it. Might have something in it that's really bad for him too, don't let him shove his face in there.” Killua sat down next to the dog, wasting no time in shoving a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. He was blessed with the wonderful taste of creamy sugar, and he closed his eyes for a moment as if it would help him take it all in. It was a gift. Tomorrow, Killua thought, he would return to the grocery store and buy every carton he could find even if it bankrupted him. It actually tasted better than real cotton candy, he thought, though it lacked the unmatched sensation of sugar melting in his mouth. “Oh my god. Pin me down and stuff this in my mouth, and I'll die happy from diabetic shock.”

“Oh! It's so sweet, oh gosh.” Alluka pressed a hand to her cheek, screwing her face up in delight. Her sweet tooth wasn't as absurd as his, but clearly the flavor was a success for both of them. Sighing despondently, Wolf set his head on her thigh and looked up at her. “No, not for puppies. Even if it was, I don't think I would share!”

“Honestly, you'd have to pry it from my cold dead hands. This is incredible.” Killua took another bite, suppressing the urge to simply shovel the contents of his bowl in his mouth all at once. If he did that he wouldn't even be able to enjoy it. For a long moment neither of them spoke at all, dedicating their full attention to the ice cream. It was utterly ridiculous, but Killua though they deserved it after the stress of injections. “I won, goddamn. That's so good.”

“You better not sneak out into the kitchen at three in the morning to eat more,” Alluka said, and Killua gritted his teeth. It was a habit he had just barely broken, though it wasn't nearly as bad as it was when he was a teenager. Partially, he knew, it had started to keep Milluki from stealing his food, but he still compulsively devoured and hoarded anything he didn't want to lose.

“Try and stop me,” he retorted, setting the empty bowl on the coffee table. Alluka stuck her tongue out at him, and he grinned maliciously back. She wouldn't wake up if he got up in the middle of the night, and she knew it. Besides, they wouldn't even be in the same room. He'd pull the couch out and spend the night there, and Wolf would lick his feet. “How's the butt?”

“Not hurting yet.” She'd be sore in the morning, of course. That was just how it worked. “Onii-chan, are you working this weekend? Not Saturday, I guess, but Sunday maybe. There's a street fair going on, I thought you might wanna go together.”

“Mm, I can't.” He thought he had heard something about it, or maybe seen a flyer. Killua couldn't remember. He scratched the back of his neck, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. Saturday was right out, of course. In theory he could take Wolf to a street fair, but the puppy would probably be exhausted and fussy. Plus, Killua wasn't sure he trusted Wolf enough to be okay in a big crowd. “Wolf's got his appointment Saturday, yeah, and. Well, I don't have work Sunday, but I'm still, sorta busy. At least, I don't know how much of the day I'll have free.”

Alluka said nothing for a long moment, and Killua realized abruptly that she was staring at him. Not saying anything, he picked up both empty ice cream dishes and brought them into the kitchen to dump in the sink. The dishes in the dishwasher were clean, and Killua knew it would be too obvious of an avoidance if he started emptying it. With feigned calmness, he made his way back to the couch and slouched in it with a sigh.

“A project for class?” Alluka clearly knew it wasn't, based on the suspicious expression on her face.

“... No,” he said, scratching Wolf's head. It drew the dog's attention to him briefly, but he quickly turned back to Alluka to snuffle into her thigh. Killua knew his cheeks were flushing. He could never stop the fact that he turned red at the drop of a hat with things like this – it made it frustratingly impossible to keep his cool. At least when he really needed to lie he could. “I'm just gonna be-”

“You have a date,” Alluka gasped, clapping both hands to her cheeks. Wolf's ears perked immediately, and he sat up to nudge Alluka's arm. The sound had startled, him, though he couldn't blame him. Killua buried his face in his hands. “You have a date, oh my gosh!”

“Yeah,” he managed, thankful that his palms hid his grin. It _was_ a date, wasn't it? The idea made him stupidly happy and stupidly optimistic. Maybe he couldn't help it. Talking to Gon felt like the most natural thing in the world sometimes. “Yeah, I. Shit. I mean it's just lunch, it's not a big deal.”

“Onii-chan, you have literally never been on a date in your life.” The reminder was a bit of a jab, and Killua lowered his hands again to give her a pointed look. “I'm just saying, it sort of is a big deal! You always say no to people who ask you out.”

“That's because they're strangers,” Killua said immediately. It was absolutely true. The only people who asked him out were girls that came into the shop, and he had zero interest in them. He always had an excuse, at least. Even if it was usually coyly telling them he couldn't answer questions like that while on the job. It almost never went further than that. “Of course I'm not game, I probably don't have a damn thing in common with any of them.”

“Hmmmmmm,” Alluka said, stretching the syllable out long enough that it was genuinely absurd. He wanted to reach out and smack her on the cheek, or catch her in a headlock and noogie her into silence. “Well, you never give anyone a chance long enough to find out. But... I'm actually really happy. You really like him, huh?”

“That's, I mean... I, I dunno. He's really... I don't know.” Killua cupped his chin with one hand, covering his mouth with it as he thought. He couldn't deny that at first he'd simply been lost in how astoundingly his type Gon was physically, but it had just as quickly become something more... He wasn't sure. It didn't feel like something he could put in words. Casual, and comfortable. Like welcoming back a friend he hadn't seen in years. “Shit, like... Why am I even talking to you about this, that's so embarrassing.”

“I think it's cute! I never thought I'd see you get so tongue-tied over someone, it's like you fell in love at first sight!”

“Excuse you,” Killua said indignantly. Alluka's grin was mischievous now, and she pulled her knees up to her chest to hold them. “I am _not_ in love with a guy I met four days ago. Love at first sight is a cheesy romance novel cliché and I will have none of that bullshit in my life. Sure, it's soooo great and romantic in fiction but it's not real and it's actually pretty weird. You can't love someone you barely know anything about.”

“Well you don't have to be such a downer about it. I don't think it's _really_ real either, but you can still, you know, feel something. Chemistry, maybe! Maybe you don't fall in _love_ at first sight, but you can see someone and see a real potential for love.” Alluka was completely serious, and he thought she was probably right. Had that been what he'd felt? The idea, maybe even the confidence, that there could be something there. And something else, maybe. Shrugging his shoulders, Killua glanced at Alluka.

He thought his words might have been wrong, looking at her face.

“Well... I take it back, honestly.” Alluka gave him an almost lost look, and he leveled a soft smile at her. Some things weren't embarrassing to admit, at least not to her. “My first memory's of falling in love at first sight, you know? I mean, I don’t think I could have helped it. You had such fat cheeks.”

“Onii-chan!” She swatted him with one hand, flushing and beaming all at once. He wondered if he had never actually said that before. It absolutely was his earliest memory, of bursting into tears at the sight of Alluka's tiny face the first time he'd ever seen it. Some of the details were fuzzy, but that much was amazingly clear. Alluka and her tightly-closed eyes, and the fussy little noises she'd made. He'd been barely two years old and completely overwhelmed with emotion. “That's so sappy, it's not like you!”

“What, it's seriously the first thing I remember. Dad even took a picture because I couldn't stop crying, next time I go back there I'll steal it.” If he had to go back to his childhood home, at least he could get something worthwhile out of it. Even if it meant rifling through old photo albums full of things that brought mixed emotions from him. Killua was sure it was still there, the picture of him with a face full of tears and snot as he gripped his brand-new sister's chubby hand and bawled his eyes out. Everyone had laughed at him, and for once it had been completely good-natured laughter. His mother and Illumi couldn't have dumped that picture, even if so many pictures of Alluka's childhood were lost now. “I kept begging to hold you, even. I definitely would have fallen over if someone had let me pick you up.”

“I wish I remembered when Kalluto was born. Gosh, I don't remember anything until that time Milluki pushed you in the sandbox and you scraped your knee really bad.” The memory made him snort. There were so many memories in his head of Milluki pushing him in the sandbox and banging him up. He was sure which one Alluka meant, though. It wasn't quite a good memory, but it was far from the worst. He thought it might have been the first time Milluki had actually physically hurt him with his too-rough playing, thought it certainly hadn't been the last. The pain wasn't something he remembered – he hadn't even really been scared even at the sight of blood spilling down his leg – more what had come afterward.

“Yeah, and you screamed and cried until _he_ cried.” Killua snorted, reaching out to pinch her cheek lightly. Alluka giggled, smacking his hand away. She had been so cute back then, completely inconsolable even as he'd tried to tell her it would be okay. Milluki hadn't had a clue how to respond. “Gotoh was so fast, I didn't even see where he came from before he'd grabbed me and brought me inside.”

“I cried the whole time you were in the bathroom with him too, I thought you were gonna die. Tsubone kept telling me you were fine, but I was so sure she was lying until you came back!”

“No wonder you remember it, you were totally traumatized.” Alluka slapped his knee – the same one, of course – as he snickered at her. It was just hard enough to sting, and Killua made a face.

“I was not. I was really scared though. I thought everything was gonna come out of your body and you'd just melt. I don't know where I got that idea.” Alluka paused for a moment, and her expression darkened a little. Thinking about that had clearly sparked something else in her head, at least by the way she sulked. “He never did it again in front of me for years, not until you were hitting back, but he never stopped doing that kind of thing did he.”

“Nah.” Somehow, despite how casually he said it the response didn't make Alluka any less upset. It was just how brothers worked, even if Milluki had been more spiteful about their rivalry than he thought most siblings were. There had been only a few instances where it had really gotten out of hand, and someone – usually Gotoh – had put a stop to it immediately. “I think he got mad that I stopped getting upset over it, really.”

“He's such a bully. Illumi just let him do it when he was around too, he could have stopped it!”

“He thought I could handle it. And, hey, he was right.” Illumi was always right, after all. The thought sprang into his head immediately, and Killua felt his nostrils flare as he banished it. Illumi was _not_ always right, he thought hotly. “Except for the time Milluki broke my skateboard.”

Killua wasn't sure if he had ever seen Illumi angry before that had happened. He didn't remember much of what had happened there, really. Illumi had been mad, even his father had been mad, and he had cried.

Alluka said nothing, and he knew she was thinking about more than the broken skateboard. His fingers tingled, and he curled them into a fist. It wasn't a good topic, he decided. Suddenly, Killua was glad he hadn't mentioned that incident to Gon. The other man might not have been nearly as keen to ask him out.

Gon had asked him out.

He was running out of time on that front, Killua thought.

“I don't know what to wear,” he said, sighing. For a moment, Alluka seemed to have no idea what he was talking about. Then her creased brow evened out, and she raised an eyebrow at him. Killua knew it was a strange thing for him to say, given the formidable size of his wardrobe. “I mean, it's lunch. Not exactly a suit and tie affair.”

“Hmmm. Do you know where you're going to go?” Alluka tapped her cheek, the previous thought clearly pushed from her mind. He didn't think they would quite get to the point of standing in front of his closet and pulling out clothes, at least. It wasn't a lie. Killua really was a little concerned about it. Leaving the apartment without looking sharp was something that made him scowl even to think about.

“No idea. I don't know if he knows either, I'm pretty sure we're playing it by ear.” Killua leaned back, crossing his legs at the knee. He pulled at his t-shirt, as if considering it. Something like what he was wearing currently was far from an option. “I guess it's gonna be something like what I wear for Bisky. Just, not with the shirt buttoned up all the way. And a solid t-shirt, obviously.”

“You definitely shouldn't wear the skateboard shirt,” Alluka snorted, and Killua rolled his eyes. It was undeniably his favorite graphic tee, but there was no way he would wear that shirt on a date. Anything with foul language was right out, which eliminated an admittedly decent chunk of clothing. He couldn't help it. Skateboard Bitches was the greatest thing he had ever seen emblazoned on a shirt.

“Maybe I should wear the cat sweater you got me, huh?” In his closet there were at least three articles of clothing with cat faces plastered on them that Alluka had gleefully brought him, as well as multiple random accessories. Every single one of them was cute as hell, if not quite appropriate date-wear. It was definitely too hot out to be wearing that knit sweater though.

“You should wear the hat with the ears.” That made Killua bark in laughter, and Wolf kicked his thigh in his attempt to turn around between them and climb into his lap. Alluka covered her mouth with both hands, giggling. Instead of letting that continue, Killua picked the puppy up unceremoniously and settled him down again before responding.

“No way, I _am_ trying to date this guy.”

Alluka's eyes were bright, and after a moment she replied with solemn seriousness. “That's even more reason to wear it.”

“Why am I even asking you, I'm the one who put together like every other outfit you wear.”

“You're right,” Alluka said, patting him on the head almost patronizingly. “What would I ever do without you?”

“Have to stick yourself with your own needles,” Killua retorted, and Alluka's cheeks puffed out immediately. She leaned on him heavily, resting her head on his shoulder. Almost without thinking about it, Killua brought a hand up to ruffle her hair gently. “You know I don't mind that. I promised I'd take care of you.”

“I know. Still.” Both of her arms wound around his, and she sighed. He knew it bothered her, that no matter how many times he told her the truth Alluka didn't want to depend on him for the things she thought she should be able to do on her own. Killua pressed his mouth against the top of her head, not quite a kiss. “One day, though! One day you won't have to.”

“Yeah. But until then – no, always. I'll always be here, whenever you need me. You’re my little sister. I'll always be here.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, welcome back! It's Kurapika hour. I just wanted to say in advance that currently, the Kurapika chapters are not running at the same time as the Killua chapters! Kurapika's chapters are a few days in the past compared to the Killua chapters. 
> 
> Eventually they should sync up a little better, but not yet! So, this chapter takes place immediately after the First Kurapika Chapter, rather than following the latest (Killua) chapter.

“I am very sorry,” Kurapika mumbled, somewhere in the general vicinity of Senritsu’s left breast. She only hummed at him, a tone with some annoyance in it. But she hadn’t kicked him out, which was a blessing in a way. Senritsu knew he was regretful – he’d been visibly so from the moment he walked in the door. He buried his face back into her chest, sighing despondently.

“Are you, then?”

“Yes.” It was muffled, but he was confident that she understood it had been assent.

“That’s good,” she said airily, with a casualness that he knew would only make her next words sting more. “You should be.”

“Ah,” Kurapika said. Senritsu patted his head. He really didn’t want to think about it, the fact that he’d filed paperwork to obtain a license for owning an “exotic” pet. It wasn’t even close to what he’d expected to do that night. The whole thing was a disaster. Sometimes Kurapika thought his entire life was a disaster. Well, almost all of it.

“You did the right thing, though,” Senritsu said finally, sounding as if she was simply resigned about admitting it. Kurapika opened his mouth to speak, and she pressed a finger against his lips. “I know, just let me give you a hard time for it a little. It’s rare for you to be so regretful, can you blame me for wanting to rub it in a bit? Even though I’m punishing you for making the right decision.”

Groaning, Kurapika finally pulled his face away to actually meet her gaze. It was interesting to look up at her, given how significant their height difference was when they stood side by side. He thought, as always, that he quite liked to look at Senritsu at any angle. “What would you have had me do, then?”

“Hmmm… Perhaps, be less adorable when dejected? That could certainly help things.” Though it wasn’t helpful in the slightest, Kurapika couldn’t keep himself from smiling at the words. They both knew it would be resolved eventually, once he had taken his lumps for making a serious decision without consulting Senritsu. It wasn’t as if he’d actually thought she would close the door on him and leave him to sleep in the guest room. At the very least, they could enjoy teasing one another for a bit.

“So are you saying that my behavior invited you to berate me? That’s certainly not the kind of attitude I would expect from someone of your...” Kurapika didn’t manage to get the end of his sentence out before Senritsu’s lips found his, silencing the words before they came. That was a nicer thing to think about, really. The fact that it gave him more ammunition was an added bonus. “Is that a healthy approach to conversation with a significant other? Keeping them from communicating their complaints?”

“Oh, hush,” Senritsu said, and they both knew that it only underlined his joking point. She cupped his cheeks with both hands, before pinching gently as if to scold him for being smarmy. Kurapika thought he could accept it, as long as she would let him keep his arms around her.

“I see.” The sentence, short as it was, was punctuated by a yawn. Senritsu kissed the tip of his nose, letting go of his face to smooth his hair back. He needed a haircut, Kurapika thought vaguely. That was something for another time, assuming he would remember it in the morning. “Sorry.”

“I forgive you.” Though he wasn’t positive, it felt like it was for more than one thing. It seemed like, as unpleasant an idea to her as it was, Senritsu was quickly coming to terms with the fact that they would have a pet. He wasn’t sure what to say, so for a while he said nothing and simply cuddled up closer, letting his exhausted body relax.

“We’ll certainly be able to find a new owner eventually,” Kurapika said finally, though he knew with some sinking despair that it might not be the case. Had Gon told him the average lifespan of the species? Then again, he didn’t know how long it had been in Neon’s possession, not to mention how old it had been when she’d obtained it. Until he knew that, there was no way of estimating how long the snake would live.

“That assumes you won’t get attached to it.” Senritsu’s voice was just light enough that he wasn’t sure whether or not it was serious. He resisted the impulse to scoff and roll his eyes – the idea was ridiculous. When would he even have the time to bond with it? Were snakes an animal that even could be bonded with? Kurapika frowned, considering it, and could only sigh when Senritsu laughed at him for it.

“I don’t believe it’s going to be a problem,” he said. He couldn’t even imagine a situation where he’d grow attached to a snake – it was an interesting animal, certainly, but that was all there was to it. Maybe they would find out more about it more in the morning, maybe not. “Could you imagine?”

“Yes,” Senritsu said immediately, so fast that Kurapika was taken aback by it. He narrowed his eyes, but she seemed unlikely to apologize for the borderline outburst. “I think it’s quite likely you’ll bond with it, or at least grow fond of it. You have a bit of a weakness for that kind of thing.”

“Animals? Senritsu, when have I ever expressed any-”

“I don’t mean animals.”

“… I see.” The line that their conversation would take was already predetermined, written in stone by the events of the day. There was no avoiding it, and Kurapika knew it was better to just broach the subject. Still, the words were hard to force out. “I was… discourteous, today, after everything that happened.”

“I presumed so. Were you there when Mr. Nostrade collapsed?” She was cutting right to it, then. But there was no point in dancing around it. One of Senritsu’s hands cupped his cheek, the other stroking back his hair again. Kurapika closed his eyes tightly, knowing that it was more than enough of an answer for her. The sigh that came out of her confirmed it, and it drew one from him in return. “Oh, Kurapika. I don’t know what I would have done in your place.”

“You certainly would have done exactly what I did,” Kurapika said with a hint of dull amusement, not opening his eyes even as he spoke. If he fell asleep in her arms, that would be fine. It meant he wouldn’t have to talk about it any longer. But that was simply avoidance. After years of Senritsu’s support, it was much harder to avoid making an effort to deal with things. “Calling an ambulance, at least. I don’t know that you would have fought off a panic attack at any point in the evening, but I suppose that’s not something you go through with any frequency.”

Admitting that it had almost happened meant admitting it to himself as well, and it hadn’t been what he’d wanted to think about. But his own need for dry sarcasm had betrayed him yet again, and the words were already out. At least Senritsu would have mercy on him and not baby him over it.

“Oh, don’t act as if you have panic attacks at the drop of a pin. It’s been years, hasn’t it? At least three, not since we got the house.”

“Better living through chemistry,” Kurapika mumbled, and he was relieved by Senritsu’s laugh. “But we both know that, don’t we? Did you take your pills?”

“Of course I did, have I ever forgotten?”

“Not enough for it to actually make a difference.” At least that was something they hadn’t needed to worry about for a while. Neither of them had something to deal with that they could cure, but holding it at bay with medication was the next best thing. Senritsu sighed at him, and he suspected that her eyes were narrowed as she considered him, that she was worrying at her lower lip. “Neon is fine, for the record. And when I left, her father was in good condition.”

“Did anyone give you any information on what’s going to happen? I can’t imagine he’ll be hospitalized for very long, maybe he’s back home already.”

“I haven’t checked my phone,” Kurapika admitted after a long moment, wincing at the thought. If he had messages to listen to, they would have to wait until the morning. “I’m not going to. I’ve had quite enough for one day.”

“You have.” She said the words with no teasing or sarcasm, a simple statement of fact. The day had been too disgustingly long and stressful. For a long moment, Senritsu said nothing, and he wished she would say something. As mentally-exhausting and obnoxious as Leorio had been, bickering with him had kept his mind off the clenching fear and threat of panic bubbling in his chest. Every second he could spend speaking to someone else meant not thinking of that familiar terror and what it had felt like to have it surface once more after so long. “Do you want to talk about it?”  
“I’m okay.”

“You’re not,” she said quietly, and Kurapika gritted his teeth. “No, don’t get angry at me for it, I just don’t like when you try to shrug these things off.”

“Can you blame me, though? What good does it to for me to reminisce, really? Yes, it was eerily and uncomfortably and horribly familiar and I hate that I had to go through it, maybe even more than I hate that something dangerous happened. Of course I was upset by it, of course it brought back terrible memories and I will never, ever escape them. And yes, I can’t erase those memories and I will always be hurt by them whenever something happens to make them surface again. What good does it do me to talk about them?”

“You see, you’re already venting your feelings.”

“I _know_ ,” Kurapika hissed, but it only took a few seconds before he was laughing. “Can you believe it, though? How ridiculous, out of all the things that could happen that I’d have to witness? You would think having seen that kind of thing so many times would make me numb to it, but nothing could have been further from the case.”

“You can never really predict what response memories will trigger in you,” Senritsu said, and he nodded automatically. It was rehashing the same information, but they both knew he could use the reminder. Getting it out was better than bottling it in – and having someone he trusted to confide in meant more than he could ever express, even _if_ he’d been good at expressing that kind of thing. “Even day by day, you can never say with any certainty.”

“I started a fight with a doctor.”

“You _what_?”

“I did say I was discourteous, did I not?” Senritsu patted him on the cheek, rather hard this time. She was clearly not happy about it, nor that he hadn’t already mentioned it. “I am grateful that I was able to get a hold of myself before I made a scene, but that was how I ended up in that clinic in the first place.”

“I was wondering when you would tell me more about that, really.”

“He… God, would you believe I can’t remember what actually happened? He said something, I was dry and sarcastic – yes, yes, more than normal – and unbelievably rude. I believe I caught him coming off a shift, and… he was trying to comfort Neon, that was it. He asked me if I was her boyfriend, I think, and-”

“Oh, _no_.” When he glanced up at Senritsu’s face, her expression was of a sort of horrified amusement. He couldn’t help but laugh at it, at the absurdity of that with the context of his relationship with the Nostrade family.

“Yes, that definitely happened. I think I may have made a face that revealed quite clearly that I would rather leap from a cliff. I know, it’s cruel, but god, I was really at the end of my rope. If Eliza hadn’t – I didn’t even say _that_ , did I? Eliza arrived, Basho must have called her at some point. I feel terrible about that, but she saved my sanity. In any case, I must have caught that doctor at the end of his rope as well. You’d have been appalled, I was acting like a child.”

“Please, I’m quite used to that.”

Kurapika took a long moment to crush down his sarcastic remark, and simply released his loose grip on her to roll over onto his back. He pressed one hand against his forehead, staring up at the ceiling.

“Either way, you would never have known we were two adult men and not angry teenagers. I do believe my rudeness started it, but still. He insisted I take the snake to a veterinary clinic, and then, well, didn’t accept my word that I would do so. I suppose I gave him no reason to trust it, to be fair.” Kurapika narrowed his eyes, running over the night’s events in his mind again. What had even happened, in what order? It was already blurring together. He tilted his head to look up at Senritsu. “I could barely fit the man in my car.”

“Your car is tiny,” Senritsu said immediately, before seeming to register what he had actually said and bursting into laughter. She covered her mouth with both hands, a gesture that somehow made her look like a teenager again and not a woman of almost thirty. “Oh, _no_ , he insisted on coming with you as well? No wonder you’re so cross.”

“He absolutely did, what an utterly fucking bullshit scenario that was.” That had them both laughing, and Kurapika covered his face to muffle the sound. It really was so absurd that he could only laugh at it now, how childish he’d been and how unreal it felt now that it was no longer happening. “I fell right into fighting with a complete stranger, we somehow managed to bicker the whole way there as well. It felt like I was in a sitcom, a hassled wife mad at her husband. Just the most idiotic situation, and I just accepted it immediately. It didn’t even seem that odd, and that’s honestly the most absurd part of it. It might have been that I was so ready for everything to be over with, but I didn’t question it in the slightest. It was just what was going to happen, so I might as well get on with it! At some point I showed off just how mature I was by calling him Mr. instead of Dr., my mother would have been scandalized.”

“What will I do with you? I was under the impression that you were my lover and not my child, but suddenly I’m much less sure. Tell me you didn’t puff your cheeks out and pout.”

“If only I had, it would certainly have completed the whole evening. I could have looked the way I was acting.” Senritsu snorted, before immediately flushing and laughing harder. Kurapika couldn’t help grinning at that, trying to hold back his own laughter once more. “I regressed about ten years tonight, I think. Hopefully that won’t stick. I did apologize later, and I feel we parted on amicable terms. I can’t believe I made the poor veterinarian witness that, though I don’t believe he actually noticed.”

“Well, you managed to jump back to adulthood and resolve your problem, so I think you’ve done better than most people would.”

“Mm, perhaps. Though...” Kurapika pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. “He asked me to keep him updated on the snake, so perhaps I’m not quite in the clear yet.”

“Now that you’ve told me that, you do realize I’m going to hold you to it.”

“Of course. That’s why I mentioned it. Do you honestly believe I’d do it otherwise?” Senritsu laughed, leaning over to kiss him, and he sighed. “No, don’t reward me for bad behavior, what will I do if you won’t keep me in line?”

“It was a disciplinary kiss,” she said coolly, before smiling in a way that was almost frustratingly knowing. It should have been more annoying than he found it, but Kurapika found himself too tired to feel anything genuinely negative. At least not towards Senritsu. The world, the situation, those he could be mad at. Being mad at her was a lot harder. “Ah, but really. What will you do?”

“Cry and become a worse person,” Kurapika said immediately, before realizing the words weren’t a response to his joking hypothetical. Her sputtered laughter made his cheeks flush, and all he could do was close his eyes and give a pained smile. What _would_ he do? “I’m not sure yet. I suppose it depends on what happens with the animal.”

“You’re right. There’s not much point in calling just to say nothing’s changed.” Senritsu ran her fingers through his hair, and before Kurapika knew it he was yawning. The day really had taken too much out of him if he was so tired before midnight. On a normal night, he would still be in the kitchen working, and would slip into bed later without disturbing Senritsu. But here he was, about to drop before it was technically the next day.

“I am very tired,” he admitted, not opening his eyes. Kurapika had to admit it, in case he simply fell asleep without any warning. If she kept playing with his hair like that, he’d be out before he knew it.

“I imagine so. You should sleep. Maybe even take a sick day tomorrow, no one would have any right to complain.”

“It’s suggestions like this that make me want to give you my hand in marriage.”

“Yes, yes. I love you too. Now go to sleep.”


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry to everyone who got excited seeing a notification for this, it isn't a chapter. I want to start this off by saying, "I'm not discontinuing the story". I am, however, putting it on an official and indefinite hiatus. If you're following my other in-progress fic, you'll see this exact message popping up there.

I'm very tired.

I had a dream last night that I gave up on and took down all of my HxH fanfiction because of lackluster reader interaction making the effort not seem worth it. I’ve had this feeling more than once lately. I think it’s time to confront it now that it’s gotten into my dreams.

Maybe it's that I'm jealous, or that I've lost something I used to get an unnatural amount of. I see other people (both with HxH and other fandoms) getting the reader interaction that I've been desperate for, in droves, in what feels like seconds. It shot my self-esteem in the foot. I'm limping. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I used to be eager and excited after posting a chapter. Now I'm only anxious, refreshing constantly, begging for something other than silence and scattered kudos that remain wildly disproportionate to my hit count.

And that's what it is. The juxtaposition of _hundreds_  of hits, much more than could be attributed to re-reads, and a handful of comments. I can only wonder what happened. I’ve heard from other people, “all of my friends love your work and talk about it all the time”. It’s happened five times now. It’s discouraging. You’d think it would make me feel good about myself. It just makes me wonder what’s wrong with me that people won’t say these things to my face. I don't get any joy from posting fic anymore. Just fried nerves and feelings of self-doubt and self-hatred.

I’m really sorry to the few people who’ve been commenting and/or just finding my content. I don’t know if it’s that I don’t feel approachable or something. I can't tell people "you have to talk to me, or I won't do this". I don't want to do it either. It feels like a threat, like coercing interaction people didn't really want to have with me. 

I’m not leaving the hxh fandom behind, I still love the series. I’m not discontinuing my stories, I still want to finish them.

The spark’s just gone. The motivation’s gone. I'll still be active on tumblr, of course. Twitter too, but I don't check it that often.

It just might be a long, long time before I come back to my stories.


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